Toronto

Friday, 4^th November

After a leisurely morning we are now in a train on the way to Toronto. We are meeting Barbara and Erik at the hotel, they are driving down. Ben is very excited. We had a lovely dinner last night. We just enjoyed being together yesterday. We had sex. It was very good. Ben told me he loves me. It is always precious when he does.

We are at the hotel, we have to wait for a room to be ready, apparently there has been a pile up and the lorry with linen is stuck. We do not need the beds, we would like to drop our cases and freshen up. We are having a snack in the bar, they have made Ben a shake. Everywhere it has been no problem at all to get shakes done. We just say he has a digestive disorder and needs it. Of course we always pay, as we need milk for it.

Finally, I am back and I want to write my diary tonight. We were at reception when Erik and Barbara came in. They made quite a scene. First Erik and Ben were hugging and kissing, then Ben and Barbara. And I mean full on kissing.

I guess the onlookers expected me to kiss them as well, but we just hugged. I do not know Erik very well.

They had to meet with the events organiser to finalise the memorial, and we both checked in and freshened up. We met in their room, they had been upgraded. I did not realise Erik and Ben were so close, they were sitting together on the bed, Erik had Ben embraced. Ben noticed and came and sat with me. Ben noticed what? Jealousy? No, but I felt it was,...inappropriate? Well, as I said, I did not realise they were so close. I have always been monogamous, even when I was a slave. We might have played with others, but I never had sex with our friends, it was just bondage. I know about their lifestyle, it has never bothered me, then I have just heard about it. Now that I am part of it, it is different. I know Ben is not interested to be shared by me, but if I wanted him to, he would do it.

We had dinner in the restaurant, amongst other topics we talked about our trip so far, Ben kept his report of meeting his mother short. He has managed to not talk too much on this trip.

We were going back to our rooms when Ben and Erik were whispering. Ben asked me if I minded if he and Erik stayed the night together. I was very surprised. Barbara encouraged me to say yes. We phoned reception to see if they had another room available. They did, I asked them to add it to my bill. They sent a porter with the key, how kind. Ben packed some things together. He kneeled in front of me, was I really ok with it? It was a chance to say goodbye to Erik. I assured him it was ok. I rather wanted it to happen now, then hang over us all week. I know Erik is clean, but I still asked him to use condoms. It is a small signal that Ben is mine. I do not know why, but I had some in my washbag, I gave them to him. He gave me a deep kiss and left.