Sunday, 30th October
We had a lovely birthday yesterday.
I had instructed him to stay in his room, in Sweden it is traditional
to wake the birthday person with a small cake in bed. I had laid the
table the night before and decorated, as he has a tendency to wake up
early. Well, he waited for me and was pleased with the cake and my
singing. He loved the decorated table and balloons. He was slightly
cross with me, he had said he did not want any fuss. He seemed a bit
out of it, though. He threw his coffee mug over by mistake, usually
he would be up immediately and get a cloth, he seemed confused by his
mishap and did not react to mop it up. He said he was born at 5.55am,
so considering the time change, he would not turn actually 30 until
11.55am. Or did that not apply? Does the universe care about time
zones? So how do we know when we are born? I had ordered him a bunch
of flowers, and when they came, he was appreciative, but scolded me
for wasting money on flowers we would not be able to enjoy as we are
going away. I told him we can enjoy them for 2 days, that is plenty.
He did not know what to do with them. I had to get a vase and put
them into water. I was getting concerned, he was so away with the
fairies! I told him to have a shower while I tidied up. I could not
hear him, so after a while I came and checked, he sat on bed, looking
at his photos. If I had not known better, I would have thought he was
high! We had a shower together, I thought about having sex, but he
was barely functioning. By now the mail had arrived, we sat on the
sofa opening his cards. I had asked everyone to send a card, as he
did not want any presents, and they had arrived on time. He enjoyed
opening them. He started to cry, he had never had so many cards. He
knew I had instigated it, and told me off for it, but he was so
pleased to get all the messages. A lot of them had a 30 on it, and he
kept looking at that. Am I really 30? Now I was seriously
getting freaked out. Ingrid phoned to wish him happy birthday. He
thanked her and handed the phone back to me. I told her he is
behaving very odd indeed, we might have to cancel the afternoon. He
had gone to his room with his cards. I had just hung up and was
looking for the number for the restaurant where we had booked for
fika (coffee and cake), when I heard a bump from his room. When I
reached him he was coming to, he had fainted. I do not know what made
me check the watch, it was 11.56am. I fetched him a glass of water,
which he sipped. He could not remember what had happened. He saw the
cards and was surprised how many he had. I asked him could he
remember getting the flowers? He could not. The breakfast table? No.
He suddenly felt very tired. He laid down on his cot and was soon
asleep. I was considering taking him to hospital, his symptoms could
have been caused by a fit. But that meant we might not be able to fly
on Monday. I phoned Per and asked his advice. I told him about his
strange behaviour this morning and now the boy could not remember
anything. Per suggested we all monitor him this afternoon, I should
not panic. He reckoned it was one of his psychic episodes.
I woke Ben up after an hour, at
first he was groggy, but came round soon. When he saw the flowers, he
remembered getting them and telling me off. I asked him what else he
remembered, like spilling the coffee? He said he did, the morning's
events were like watching a very old film in his head.
He enjoyed his lunch and was back
to normal. Per must have been right, it was one of his funny turns.
After lunch we went off in the car, I parked in the car park of the
restaurant and we went for a walk. When we came back he was surprised
to see Stine and Torben's car there. I said, well I got the tip from
them, this is a nice place. I had booked a small room for us, Per and
Lasse, Ingrid, Stine and Torben were there. They sang happy birthday
when we came in. Ben pretended to be angry at us, but his bright
smile betrayed him. We had a present for him as well, we had bought a
book with photos of Stockholm, and everyone had written a memory of
their first year with Ben by their favourite photo. He loved it and
was in tears as he hugged everyone. He got hiccups again and had to
use meditation techniques to get rid of them. He had to wait to eat
his cake, while we started. Torben paid for a bottle of bubbly,
between us it was just enough for a small glass each. Stine asked: so
do you feel any different having turned the big bad 30? I told them
about his strange behaviour this morning, they would not believe me.
Ben was able to recall he felt “out of himself”, and he told them
how he had fainted when Robert died. Hmm, I cannot explain now what
he said, it sounds too weird. And why did this not happen last year?
Do we have to deal with this every year now? Does everyone's spirit,
who moves to a different time zone, get lost on their birthday? I
really hope this was a one off, and due to him being so anxious
lately.
We stayed for about 2 hours. Ben
and I came home, he thanked me for a nice surprise and not listening
to him. We had just gotten home when Barbara and Erik phoned. There
were more tears.
He had just hung up when Ruth
phoned. She said she had the strangest experience, she woke up very
early in the morning and felt so connected to him. And then just
before 6am she was fine and finally went to sleep, and had just woken
up. Ben told her of his out of body experience. They understood each
other. He was so hyper after those calls, he wanted some time alone
in the garden to collect himself. I fetched him after 20minutes, he
can loose all sense of time and not feel the cold, either.
We had one more phone call, from
Dalarna. I think Ben did not have any tears any more. He was glowing
so much, you could have put him on top of a lighthouse during fog, he
would have lit up the coast. He said he never experienced so much
love for him. Then he went quiet, he said I wish Robert knew how
happy I am. I assured him Robert was watching over him. We had
something to eat, well, I did, he had a shake. Then I gave him my
last present. It was the piercing bar. At first he thought I wanted
him to have the other side done, then I explained I have made an
appointment for me for when we are back to have it done. We spent the
rest of the evening making love. What a stupid expression, We had
SEX! Again and again and again, fantastic, bonding, mind blowing SEX!
I managed to stop him once from
slipping out of bed, the second time he got away from me.
I find it frustrating, and on the
other hand it keeps our relationship alive, he is mysterious.
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