March 2

Saturday, 5^th March

We did the hazard awareness training, it was good fun. Most participants were teenagers of course. Goodness, I know I cannot compare myself as a teenager to “normal” teenagers, but were my fellow teenagers so immature and full of themselves? Part of the procedure to get a driving licence is a group meeting and discussion on drugs and alcohol awareness. This school does the sessions together with the hazard training, it is a very good idea. They give the students goggles which simulate the effect of being drunk or high. The instructor welcomed my professional input and asked if I was prepared to come more often. I politely declined. It was during that discussion I was most disappointed by these kids. What shocked me most was their easy attitude to dope and tablets. That teenagers like to get drunk is everywhere the same and has always been, I did my fair share. I have used poppers, and I have used them on Ben once. Since then there has been no need for either of us to use drugs, we get high by just being with each other.

The slave and I had agreed to tone it down in front of the kids. They were a bit unsure around us anyway, Ben being American, me a doctor, so much older. I think we did not manage that well with toning it down. It is normal for us, the way I speak to him, and how he addresses me.

Sunday, 6^th March

I finally caught up with all the mail, e-mails, and my professional publications today.

We took a drive into the country and had lunch in a traditional restaurant. The weather was too bad to go for a walk. He loves the traditional houses. He is reading the Bullerbue children at the moment, a book by our famous childrens author Astrid Lindgren. There is a village on which these books were based, which is now a tourist attraction. He wants to go there in the summer.

There is a conference in Kopenhagen in April I would like to attend. I went there several times as a student, I'd like to show Ben.

Monday, 7^th March

I had a call from an estate agent, and I arranged to view the premises today. Ben was in his element, cleaning the apartment and our flat. The location was great, the building promising. I have to get Martin to take a look.

Wednesday, 9^th March

Sabine spoke to me yesterday, the slave had told her about the incident at the gym. She was concerned that he should display himself like that. I assured her, I did not make him wear the belt in public. He likes it, as it does not make his missing balls so obvious. She was confused by this statement, I did not realise she did not know about it. I stopped myself mentioning his vagina. It's ok, she does not read the blog.

Thursday, 10^th March

Martin and I looked at the club I checked out Monday. He likes it as well. Somehow I am not getting excited though. I am taking the boy for a drink there tonight, I want to get his opinion.

Friday, 11^th March

So we went to the potential club last night. It is a nice place, friendly people there. But sadly the boy did not get the right vibes either. I did not tell him about my hesitations, maybe he picked up on it, maybe I was pointing out the positive too enthusiastically. We walked home and he just said: It is not the one. I called Martin this morning, he agreed as well. Well, it would have been too easy.

We have been invited to a birthday party at S/T/D's tonight, so we will be at the house for the weekend. P/L came back today, they look very healthy. Sahid and Mats have the apartment.

March already

Monday, 29^th February

I had to deal with town house stuff today and came home earlier, while the slave cleaned the house. He hates just having a tidy and leave, he needs to clean properly. In the afternoon he wants to clean the apartment.

We surveyed the residents with options for the windows, we had a good consensus on the same model. Mr Allender had 3 companies to look around and quote for heating systems, I met with him today to discuss our options. We have decided on one company to negotiate further. I have also instructed him to negotiate with the window company.

I went to the club, it is closed on Mondays. We had another family day yesterday, and the staff were cleaning. I updated Martin on our experiences in England.

Wednesday, 2^nd March

March already and I have NOT missed work. I do miss some colleagues and the banter, but not the stress!

The boy has a double driving lesson, he is taking his theory tomorrow, and on Saturday he has the hazard awareness training, I am going as well, it is useful to have a refresher, now that we have a car for the year.

My father contacted me to thank me for the present. He told me off for mentioning too many details on the blog. I did not know he knew about it, and asked him how he did. He said my aunt told him. He confessed he read it regularly. So, folks, I will not mention him any more.

Maybe I am too open about other people, not all have given consent. I am changing names, but people would recognise themselves, and their friends. But then who in the vanilla world will admit to reading the blog?

A year ago in March I travelled to Canada to visit Barbara and her family, so I thought. So much has happened since. When they first told me their plan, on the way to the airport, I thought they were joking. The following weeks I examined my life. I tried to remember my time I had spent with the slave at a motel. Did I like him enough? Did I want the responsibility? Yes, I had wanted a slave. If I had a local boy as a slave, it would be much easier. I partly agreed as I knew I was the best option. Mostly I wanted to be his Master, I wanted him to be my slave. I certainly do not regret it, I could not imagine my life without him now.

Thursday, 3^rd March

First, the good news. Ben has passed his first part of the theory test. He drove on the motorway yesterday, he found that very easy, and out in the country.

Now the bad. We went to the gym, and he was in the shower when the boy was harassed. I had just gone to the sauna, when a fellow member, who knows us, shouted for me. It took the 2 of us to pull the guy of my boy. He had pushed the boy into a corner and cursed the boy for being a homo pig and showing off with his gear. Other expletives were used I dare not repeat. They guy was banned from the club. We did not want the police involved, and we were treated nicely by the club. They could ask the boy not to wear his device, I guess. Ben was so surprised by the attack, his brain did not even register the words. Of course he was a bit shaken, but overall he handled it ok. He met with Sabine after yoga, then he went to take his test.

As a reward for passing the test, and for handling himself so well, he is well strapped into his sleep sack and awaiting me to let him cum.

Back at home

Friday, 26^th February

I cannot believe February is nearly over already!

I slept well last night, after all our travelling and the walk in the evening. The slave was allowed to stay up a while and write his blog. I have just checked it and posted it.

Tonight we are going to a required training session if I want to be one of the slave's driving teacher. In Sweden anyone can teach someone to drive, but they have to take part in a course. Now that I have the leased car sitting at the house, we want to make use of it. A Swedish driving test has several components, and the slave has to/wants to take lessons for every part. He has to do some theory tests, but they are done on the computer. One of them is a hazard awareness test, which younger people are usually better at, 1 – they are younger 2- the play computer games.

I just read what I wrote yesterday, and I thought I tell you about our experiences at the airports. We had anticipated trouble at security, so we always went in good time. I would have allowed the slave to take his belt off, but he wanted to test the officers. As you know, I am more private in this matter than the slave, and I could have ordered him to remove his belt for the flights, but I wanted to challenge myself, too. The airport officials should make it part of their training for their staff how to treat people with chastity belts. I mean, lots of people have piercings in their genitalia these days, which they will leave in during travel, for various reasons, and they get treated with more respect, in my experience. Would be nice to hear from other travellers. Maybe I will open a discussion forum on our club website.

His collar causes him to be searched, and the hand held devices are more sensitive than the walk through scanner. First they usually ask him to remove the collar, sometimes there are staff patrolling the queue before the scanner, so we alerted them it does not come off. (I have the key around my neck, but it is the principle). That caused raised eyebrows. He automatically requested to be taken to the private area. Lots of stares from other passengers, making me feel uncomfortable. There is a protocol he has to follow, they scan him with their hand held device. It goes off at chest height, which is normal for the staff these days. They go down to his crotch, and the bleeps go wild. If it was just piercings, the bleeps would have been less, they would wink and let you go. The belt they wanted to see. He would just drop his trousers, but he has to wait to be asked and agree to an intimate search. If he offered to drop his trousers immediately, it would be offensive to the staff, HAHA. Of course it was always a male attendant who did the scanning, most of the time they were embarrassed and they could not get him out quickly enough. We had to go through Arlanda, Berlin, Amsterdam and London. In Amsterdam the slave had a young gay security guard who is just starting to explore the scene, and he wanted to ask loads of questions. The boy found this even more annoying and told the guy his Master forbade him to talk. London gave us hassle, I was a bit surprised. They also would not accept his Swedish residence permit, he had to change channels and queue as non-EU all over again. I am sure that is not right. Anyway, we will not travel to GB any time soon!

He asked me if it would be ok to wear a metal plug as well. I knew he was testing me. Even he would not put himself through that. He likes wearing something up his anal passage, he once said to me he sometimes misses going to the toilet that way. A plug gives him a nice feeling. I give him freedom when to put one in, or which one, within limits. Sometimes I make him take it out or forbid him to put one in, or a certain one, as a form of punishment. Sometimes we integrate it in our play. In Canada he used to have one in most of the time, along with a dildo up his vagina. When he first had the op, he had to “open the hole”, and slowly increased the time and size of a dildo. Then it was because Robert liked the idea. He never has a dildo up his vagina these days recreationally, I do not want it.

Oh, the flat looks so nice decorated. We are getting used to the colours, not sure if it was the right decision. Everything else looks so much cleaner and fresher. Mats and Sahid are now converted to dungeon play. They have already booked a few more dates in the apartment.

Sunday, 28^th February

We spent the weekend at the house. We went for a drive on Saturday and Sunday, it took the slave some time to get used to the car, but then, I think, he was fine. He has not done much driving in Canada, it was mostly Barbara or Robert, so he is not as confident anyway. We had some nice hours in the playroom.

Our trip to Germany, Amsterdam and Britain

Saturday, 13^th February

Last night was M/s night, Mats and Sahid were there, or I should say Sahid was there with Mats in tow. Sahid is a natural Master, and Mats adores him. It was their first time at M/s night.

We had a demonstration on rope, they are always good. I made the offer of the flat, and they jumped at it. Sahid offered me Mats any time, but I assured him that is a boundary I do not want to cross, I'd rather keep it friendly. Mats did not look too happy either, he is new to this.

I know there will be a time when I am expected to share my slave, and he will be willing to do it. At the moment we are still in our honeymoon period and everyone respects that.

We are having a quiet weekend, we have been so busy lately, and next week will be very tiring.

I am going to the sauna tomorrow while the boy has another driving lesson. They will venture into town, so he will encounter buses and the tram. We will ignore that it is Valentines day, we will most likely spend some time together anyway.

Wednesday, 16^th February

OK, I am leaving my laptop at home, we are doing too much travelling, although everything is backed up, my computer is too important to me too loose or get damaged.

We are a bit nervous. We talked if the slave should keep his belt on for the airport, and he wants to. As usual, he has more luggage due to his “medical” stuff.

Thursday, 25^th February

I am wired, the boy has crashed. He suddenly got a bit of a flashback at passport control, although this time I was with him. The meditation classes have paid off, I was able to guide him trough some exercises to calm him down.

Actually, I have written something here, but do not want to publish it. Master Owe and Ben have been invited to stay at a very exclusive Master/Slave facility. They spend a night there and are now doing their programme of checking out clubs:

It was a 2,5 hour journey to our next hotel, the boy slept most of it.

At our hotel we freshened up, we both used the gym and for dinner had room service. We had asked if we can get access to a mixer for the boys shake, and been directed to the bar. As we had an appointment with the manager to look around the club before they opened, we went to the bar for a drink and the boy had his shake there. The business people, sitting hunched over their laptops and phones with their pre dinner drinks, were quite taken aback by seeing two guys in leather on a weekday early evening.

We had a taxi to the club, the guy was making rude comments and I told him sharply to shut up. I demonstrably made a note of his name and license number so I could complain to his boss.

The club caters to hetero and homo, had different rooms and special nights. We were there on a “normal” day, for everyone to come and just enjoy an evening out. They do get a lot of curious punters who treat it like a fun evening out, some hen nights and stags. As there is a big American base in that area, there were a lot of US people, and the slave enjoyed chatting to some. We met some people who knew about us from the blog, and the slave even met an old friend who had guessed we would be at the club after reading the blog and made an effort to come out. We were staying at the same hotel and had a drink in the bar when we got back. It was empty then, and I think the night porter was glad to have some company. He said they get quite a few people who go to that club stay at the hotel, and he always thought they were the best customers, very friendly and polite. Ben's friend had to leave early to get back to Base, we had breakfast after most business people had left. I like breakfast buffets in German hotels, they have such a choice.

We had a car service to Frankfurt, where we got on the train to Berlin. We had lunch in the train, it was very good. I had pondered taking an apartment in Berlin, there is a good choice if you are into kink, but we decided to stay in a hotel. We chose the Soho House Group hotel, as we thought they are marketing themselves at artistic people, we will not stand out too much.

Berlin is fantastic for gay leather guys, and other kinks. Of course Ben had spent 2 days here with Barbara last year, but they did more the historical sites. We were here to explore the leather scene, and boy, did we. We did some shopping, even Martin and Ursula bought some things. As manager of a leather bar, he has to set an example. We went to some clubs, again either before opening or during the day and had some good exchanges of experiences. Of course we also went during opening times. One club we went to, it is very famous, but we found it theatrical. It was all about being seen, having the weirdest outfit and provoking a reaction. We went on to a “normal” gay leather club and stayed to the early hours. Berlin is worth a longer visit.

We flew to Amsterdam, again, you have to know where to go, do you want the tourist traps, or the real stuff. I have been to Amsterdam before, as has the boy with Barbara. We did some tourist stuff, and in the evening met with some contacts. We stayed away from the shops. We stayed in a “normal” hotel, but run by a gay couple. Ursula, who works in a hotel, remarked she did not know of any gay run hotels in Stockholm, maybe there was a gap in the market we could consider.

Ben and I travelled alone to Britain, Martin and Ursula can only unload their kids onto grandparents for so long before the grandparents have a breakdown. Funny, Martin is a very strict boss, but his kids rule the house.

We went to a gay club in Swindon on the first night. Swindon is a modern town, but strategically located in the south-west, attracting visitors to the club from quite far. Interesting concept, but a bit too niche for us. They are on an industrial estate, so people attending the club come very much for one purpose, not just to socialise, what we want to express. The last night of or tour was back in London, to be honest, if you are travelling to go to a venue, go to Amsterdam or Berlin. We found London quite close minded. People were friendly enough, but somehow we felt we had invaded a private party.

In conclusion the trip was very educational, positive and negative. We have been advised some more clubs to check out, and I am sure we will. Both Ben and I are not really club goers, but we have enjoyed it. We met quite a few readers and it was nice to get feed back and see that our lives have helped other people come out, express themselves, if they are starting out or experienced, or resolve problems in a relationship. We have already decided to go to Berlin again some time this year.

Ok, the boy is up and wants to be walked. He has developed a liking for wearing a leather collar.

A leather collar sits on top of his, which can become quite uncomfortable, depending on the width of the collar I choose. Sometimes I take his collar off to get a snug fit.

Life

Tuesday, 9^th February

It is my dad's birthday next week. We are still in contact, but we are not close. He lives in Boston now, that is one reason why I worked there for 2 years. After we had lived in London for 2 years, he was offered a promotion, which meant moving to Singapore. I have no interest in the far east, he had loved it. We had gone to check it out, I could not cope with the climate. So I came to boarding school in Upsalla. My aunt wanted me to stay with her, but my father was afraid I would not be academically stretched at the “village school”. So I spent most of my holidays with her. My father stayed in Singapore for 14 years. He met this American woman there, she had joined her husband, but her marriage was falling apart. She did not like Singapore either, and her husband had met a local woman. Her children were almost grown up and had opted to stay in the States, so she came back to Boston, and my father followed her. They are now happily married and apparently he has a very good relationship with her children and grand children. They also breed Shiatzu dogs. I can never imagine my father with a lap dog.

The last time I spoke to my father was just before the wedding. I had phoned him to tell him all about it, and he seemed happy for us. He knows about my old Master, and I have been honest with him about me and the slave. He has his difficulties with it, but as long as I am happy, he accepts it. I think the same about his 2^nd marriage, I do not like her, she is too New England rich American for my taste. Anyway, I have sent him a proper card and organised a present. He will be 65.

Wednesday, 10^th February

Usually this is our day, but I allowed him to have a driving lesson. They still stayed on quieter roads, but he was better. Martin and I checked out some premises this morning. It was too small. It is difficult to imagine how big a space is, even if I know how big our current premises are, but it also depends on the layout.

Ben had prepared lunch when I came home, and then he wanted to check out IKEA. A bit further south is a super super store, a tourist attraction. I put a harness on him which I had recently bought, plugged him at both ends, his coat cuffs and a leather collar over his collar. We enjoyed testing lots of furniture and even bought the obligatory tea lights. We got some funny looks, maybe they noticed his collar, maybe it was the way I talked to him. We both enjoyed it. I never thought I could be so open in my behaviour.

In the evening we lit the candles and I put him into his sleep sack on the living room floor. We cuddled, well, I cuddled him and he gave me a delicious blow job.

Thursday, 11^th February

I have noticed how I post on certain days. Well, the other days we are busy with our routines I guess and nothing interesting happens. The boy enjoys his sessions at the Bhuddist Centre's kitchen, and I enjoy the meditation classes.

Lasse is ill again, the doctor reckons it is still his virus. The doctor has recommended a stay in a warmer climate. They will travel to Teneriffe for 4 weeks, the same time when we are away. I thought of offering the apartment to Mats and Sahid for that time, as Mats will be here decorating. I will give it to them for free, as long as they clean it afterwards and keep an eye on the house and take over P/L's duties. We have no bookings for it that week anyway.

The boy had a letter from his mother, his oldest brother has another child on the way, their 3^rd. Reading between the lines, his mother is not too happy, as the children get dumped on her a lot. He is a hot shot in the DA's department, wants a political career, and his wife is the typical politicians wife, attending lots of functions.

Barbara and Erik are doing fine, both keep busy with work. They had a rush of interest in the house, but think most people just wanted to have a look around.

The slave and I will leave for Munich on Wednesday, 17^th. Then we are checking out a club near Frankfurt, Friday we will meet Martin and Ursula in Berlin for 2 nights. It will be a busy week, from Berlin we will travel to Holland for 2 nights, and then England for 2 nights. We will be back on Thursday, 25^th February.

I am deliberately not mentioning which clubs we will go to, but if you happen to recognise us, feel free to say hello.

February already, we get settled

Saturday, 6^th February

Today we had the spirit removed from the house. Ben had to stay away, his psychic abilities would have interfered, apparently. He has gone to the theatre with Ingrid, the first time he is going to see a play in Swedish! We are invited to dinner at Ingrids' later.

I won't go into it, and I do not know yet if it was successful. I guess we will have to see how the boy reacts. I was surprised, the man who turned up was so normal.

Sunday, 7^th February

We had a good evening yesterday. The boy had enjoyed the play, he understood most of it.

Ingrid admired my tattoo, it was finished on Friday.

Today we had invited Stine and Torben for coffee and cake at the house, we wanted to see if Django is different. The boy says he cannot pick anything up. He went into the cellar, he said there is still a lot of pain down there, but it is not oppressing, like it was before.

Django was pleased to see Ben; we let him freely run around the house, which he did. He was a happy dog. Maybe the money was worth it.

The boy has his first driving lesson tomorrow, it took him a while to find an instructor he felt comfortable with. He is very nervous about driving through city traffic, in his small town there was not much traffic, and we all know how wide the roads are in America. He drove the truck, and can ride a motorbike as well, you would think it would be easy for him.

Monday, 8^th February

Talking about the boy being able to ride a motorbike yesterday made me think, if I would like to learn. I had nothing planned today so went to a shop and informed myself, the cost is just mind boggling. Leathers are so expensive!

I thought it would be good if the boy keeps driving after getting his licence, especially as he seemed to be so nervous. I went to a dealership and have leased a car for a year. Just a small one, it will be ready at the end of the week.

I phoned my accountants and informed him of the bills I am expecting. He warned me not to go crazy. I am glad I have him. He was very good when I first inherited, I was overwhelmed with the sudden responsibility and wealth, and of course grieving.

The boy is back from his lesson and resting in his cage. He needed to calm down and some stability.

The instructor had some extra time and thought he would benefit from a double session. After about an hour he stopped stalling the car and got to grips with the clutch. We had not considered that he had only driven automatic. They have not even ventured out into city traffic yet. This will take longer than expected!

An incident in the train and a dinner party

Sunday, 24^th January

Sometimes the boy really surprises me. Our relationship has changed, I would say since he has been in hospital. Most of the time we are more like a normal couple, at least in public. At home he is very submissive. Strange, as it is him who asked me to be more Master in public. That does happen, I do sometimes put him into restraints, or a leather collar, when we go for a walk. But then he is covered by clothes, so it does not count that much, but I will adjust the way I talk to him. We have definitely grown very much closer, other people have commented on it. I love him so much it hurts.

I had my 2^nd tattoo session today, we had to go all the way to …, it is a suburb with high immigration numbers and housing estates. The boy was wearing a collar, I did not let him out by himself, so he waited in the shop. He had a good chat with the assistant about life in Canada.

I am glad I took him, I felt a bit nauseous afterwards. We had a snack at a kiosk, very good falafel.

On the train home I dozed. Opposite us was a young couple, she was nagging him. Apparently the boy kept staring at the slave, and when the girl went to talk to some friends at the other end of the carriage, the boy got his phone out and kept glancing at my slave. Finally the slave got up and sat down next to the boy. He leaned over to him and quietly said to him: Don't you know it is rude to stare at other people? Recognised me from the internet? Shall I tell your girlfriend what porn you look at? Well, then stop staring at me!

He sat down again next to me and we kissed, to prove a point? The boy mumbled something and joined his girlfriend, they got off at the next stop. The boy and I thought it was very funny. He is not ashamed of his films, he even has an award, for best amateur film for that year.

We are back at the house and we had an early dinner, the boy had put a stew into the oven before we left. He is presently sorting himself out in the bathroom, and then we are going back to the flat. Now it is my turn to feel uncomfortable here.

Monday, 1^st February

Tonight we are expecting Martin and his wife for dinner.

Over the last few weeks I have done some research into clubs in Europe, and we want to discuss a trip to check them out. I joined some forums in different countries and asked for advice on places to go. The slave and I have just come back from a trip to Helsinki. We took the ferry, a lot of Swedes do these trips at the weekend as a booze trip. So we splashed out on the most luxurious cabin available and stayed in there. The return trip was not too bad, the people were tired then. Helsinki is a very interesting city, we want to go back in the summer. We met some nice people, and their club is fantastic. We have invited some over to Stockholm. I am going to suggest we plan a whole weekend for them. The slave and I are going to the Schloss later in the month. We are planning the trip with Martin and Ursula around that.

I have made it quite clear we are not very interested in membership, partly I'm worried if the slave 's needs can be accommodated. They have invited us anyway, so we are going to check it out, we are too curious.

Mats is going to do the decorating while we are away.

We are meeting him and Sahid at the house on Wednesday. Sahid still lives at home, and Mats only has a very small flat, they enjoyed the dungeon immensely and want to try more. We have not planned to have session with them, we will see how it develops.

So, dinner is over, the boy is tidying up. We had a nice evening, it is so good when we can just be ourselves. Martin and Ursula are not necessarily “in the scene”, which is good, they can be more objective. Ben has asked if he can invest into the club. His money should be here this week, and the bank have talked to him about investing it. That would be great boost to our funds! I had him in restraints during dinner, he was a bit hyper after the weekend.

Wednesday, 3^rd February

So, Mats and Sahid came over late morning. As Mats is self employed, he was able to take the day off. Sahid works in his parents' shop and is quite flexible with his time. Of course they loved the house, and we could not get them out of the playroom. We (Ben and me) did not really feel like sharing, so we offered them the use for some hours, and we ended up at the cinema. When we came back our friends were cleaning up. It did not feel funny, I am glad we could help. They stayed for a cup of tea, Sahid observes some of his muslim upbringing and does not drink alcohol. We asked how his parents are with him being gay, and he admitted they think he has a girlfriend. Poor boy.

We had planned to go back to the flat, but ended staying over night. We wanted to reclaim our room. We talked about it, and we will not let it out again. The house is too special. I mean, it was nice to be able to help our friends, but …

I have phoned Mats and explained, he fully understands and is very grateful for having had the opportunity.

A week in January

Friday, 15^th January

We left the house quite early yesterday, as we both had gym sessions, Ben had yoga and a language lesson in the afternoon. We had lunch at the Bhuddist centre, Ingrid joined us. When Ben left to chat with Sabine, I told her that Ben still feels a presence in the house, how he avoids the cellar door and that Django once barked at it. She went pale, and I urged her to tell me what she knew. She told me a young man had died in the cell in the cellar. He had an undiagnosed heart condition, it was nothing with the stress of playing. She thought I knew about it.

Today the flat was ready and I spent some time overseeing the cleaning up. I spoke to Per that I want to get my flat decorated. He gave me the name of a decorator. We are in the process of setting up a list with BDSM friendly contractors on the clubs' website. The contractors we had for this work had all worked at the house before, they did not bat an eyelid at the rubber room, they quite enjoyed having their lunch in there and cleaned it up nicely afterwards. The couple who will move in here have done the decorating themselves, they have used quite bold colours. The flat is white, which I guess was “in” about 6 years ago. Some colour might be nice.

I met an ex-colleague at the gym today, he said they miss me already. The family of the boy who died are not going to pursue a case.

Monday, 18^th January

I got my tattoo started today. The slave had household day.

I discussed decorating the flat, having some colours, he said it was up to me. He likes art, going to galleries, but he is not artistic at all.

We spent the weekend at the flat, our new neighbours threw a party. They will fit in very well.

I went to the gym and sauna on Saturday, the slave does not like it at the weekend, it is a different crowd, and he feels uncomfortable, or he thinks the people feel uncomfortable with him. He helped out at an open day at the Bhuddist centre, in the kitchen. He enjoyed it, he wants to go and help more often, he likes to learn more about their dishes. That is fine with me.

Sunday afternoon we had family day at the club, one of our new ideas. A night club during the day is just dismal. Hopefully we can introduce it at the new premises, the few families who came had fun anyway.

Sunday morning Ben made up to me for the cut short session at the house. It feels great to have him inside me, with his 2 rings.

Anyway, my tattoo. It is on my upper right arm. I decided to have it done by the traditional method, and that is where it traditionally is. I need a few more sessions. It looks great already, but I am a bit sore. I have to travel to north Stockholm, it is more than an hour on the train. Next time I will take the slave with me, I felt a bit unwell afterwards.

Wednesday, 20^th January

Time flies, I am not bored yet, I can find enough to do. The slave is at the bank, getting his money transfer organised. Ingrid went with him in case there are communication problems.

We went to the meditation class again last night, I am enjoying it. We have decided he will help every Tuesday, the staff have a communal dinner about 5pm which he can join, and then we will go to class together. That means he will be out of the house all day Tuesdays, with gym, yoga, lesson and then centre until 9pm. Wednesdays will be our day, Mondays he likes to do the household, and Thursday and Friday we both go the gym, he then goes to yoga and lessons. I think I will be doing more cooking. He will start driving lessons soon as well, but it should not take him too long, as he can already drive.

I am expecting a decorator to discuss the renovations.

The decorator had some nice ideas, we know him from the club. He switches between the gay voice and a normal one, he says some clients expect him to be feminine gay. He loved the flat, and was very envious of the cell. He has just recently been introduced to this lifestyle by his new boyfriend, whom he met at the club. The slave came back from the bank while Mats was still here and we have invited them for dinner Friday evening.

The slave and I had a session in the playroom, he tied me up for a change. We had fun, but we decided it was a one off. I told him over dinner what has happened at the house, in the cellar. I had looked it up on the internet and found some newspaper reports. Funny, I had never heard about it before, of course certain papers made it their headline for days. It was during the time I was in Boston. Now I am not surprised that my Master got so ill and died months later. The boy wants to go to the house at the weekend and explore the cellar.

Saturday, 23^rd January

I was supposed to have another tattoo session yesterday, but postponed it until Sunday, as we had the dinner in the evening.

Mats and his partner Sahid are great, I think we might become friends. Mats is my age, and Sahid is a couple of years younger than Ben. Sahid grew up here. He is the top, and very confident for his age. He loved the playroom and the cell. We showed them the dungeon apartment and they hired it for this weekend. They have not had access to proper equipment in peace and quiet.

In the morning I went to the gym and Ben came to the house before me with the shopping. We had lunch and then he wanted to inspect the cellar. I think knowing what happened down there makes it even more uncomfortable. He was holding my hand. It can be well lit down there, and I switched all the lights on. All the gear is still down there, as if someone just locked it up. To be honest, I never went down there since I owned the house.

There are several rooms, one has a stretching rack. Ben could not believe we did that, he said I thought you were not into S&M. I said it was not that,we were never stretched that far. One room we used to be hosed down. We had a communal “cell” where we would be chained up, and there is an isolation cell. Ben said that is where the guy died, he could feel it. He was very cold, I laughed: It is winter, the cellar would be cold! He said: NO, it's the coldness of the spirits at unrest.

The internet is great, we have booked a psychic who says he can get rid of spirits.

We went for a drink to “our” pub, we both needed some alcohol after venturing into the cellar. We met a dog, he attracts them.

Note from the author

Hello to all the readers,


who seem to be enjoying the story.
I would really appreciate some feed back.


I have written the story from Ben's perspective as well, would be nice to get some feedback if people want to read it now. Like one paragraph Owe, and then the same time period from Ben's view.


Thanks everyone.

A weekend away and life resumes

Monday, 11^th January

We went to Gothenburg for the weekend. We left after lunch Friday, on the train. I had never been to Gothenburg either. We went to a club there, and met some guys who sometimes come to Stockholm.

We even bought some clothes for the boy. It was a spur of the moment decision, it was nice to be able to do that. The boy suggested why don't we check out some clubs to get inspiration for our new club. We could even go abroad. I think that is a very good idea, I have to research some places. I reckon we should go with Martin and his wife.

I had a meeting with Mr Allender today. We had it at our flat as the boy was locked into the cage, of course restrained for some of the time. He basically was in there, with toilet breaks, all day and evening. He loved it, apart from the music I played him. 80's pop.

We inspected the empty flat, they will move in next weekend. We are installing a new bathroom and kitchen this week, and they are decorating. He recommended we install new radiators now as well, the ones in there are really inefficient. The rubber couple had lived there for so long, and never wanted any work done. They had to agree to it when the electrics were done, though.

He gave me different options for heating systems, and recommended we get a few quotes in. For the windows as well, there are so many options. I want to survey the residents on the different styles.

Tuesday, 12^th January

We both went to the gym today, and then the boy met Ingrid for a lesson. He has asked her to do some vocabulary to prepare for his driving lessons. I went to the local adult education class place and picked up some information. Not sure if I want to commit to something, if we are going to do some travelling now. I also checked out some tattoo places. If I want to get something done, then I want to do some research first and find a good one. Having seen the work going on in the flat yesterday, I think my places could do with decorating again. They were last done when I moved in, which is about 6 years ago.

Tonight the boy and I are going to a meditation class. He basically meditates anyway, but we thought it might be something nice to do together. At the moment I am enjoying my free time, I even went into a gallery today.

Wednesday, 13^th January

We have no gym or lessons on a Wednesday. I have read through my blog and realized we often have a good session on a Wednesday. Our last one was last Wednesday, but then of course the boy had his session in the cage on Monday. The boy is doing laundry at the moment, but I want us to go the house soon, for overnight. The renovations are a bit noisy. Olaf and Olaf are away this week, that is why we picked this week for the work.

So we are at the house. I am looking at it with different eyes. It very much needs work. I know we need to paint the outside this year. When I inherited the houses, I had the flat done totally to my taste, but than ran out of steam with the house, I concentrated on the garden. The house had been done only a couple of years before. I think, as we will be here so much more this year, I would very much like to get it done. I actually never liked the kitchen very much, I had the cupboards painted, but I hate the doors. I know the slave prefers the flat anyway, not sure why. Maybe if we decorate it here together, he will be more at home here. He is not as on edge any more since we had the house cleansed, but I have noticed today again, he avoids the cellar door. He does not know he is doing it.

I have put his right leg into a splint, and his left arm is bound to his left leg. He is studying for his driving lessons. I frequently ask him to fetch me something, so he has to move. We are both having fun with it. I have brought the piercing ring, I will take him to the chair later, put it in, and fuck him.

Even later.

So after dinner I took the slave to the playroom, sat him on the chair and showed him the ring. He was pleased with it and we have put it in. It looks very nice, the ring has a coloured stone in it, which sparkles slightly. I made love to him, but he was distracted. Very unusual. I broke it off. He was very apologetic, he says he could not help it. He felt a presence.

I have had enough now, I am getting help. There must be something in the cellar.

A good session

Wednesday, 6^th January

Last night the boy sat down on the floor after he had cleaned up after dinner and went into his praying mantis position. That means he wants to be bound. We had not played in.,. 10 days!

We were just busy with other things. He has a physical need to be bound, he managed it very well to last for so long. Unless he had a session with Per I do not know about. But he would have told me. I told him he was allowed to put the collar on he got for his birthday, and he happily got it, and kneeled down again. I ordered him to sit on his prayer stool, and then we watched some stupid quiz show. It is quite good exercise for him, to understand the questions, and sometimes he even knows the answers. We went to bed early as I had planned to come to the house.

So, we have just come back. I did turn the heating up last night, I am so glad I have already replaced the system there.

We took some food with us and I prepared the boy with a leather collar and restraints around his thighs and his wrist cuffs for the journey. We both had to grin, it was exciting to know how he was “dressed” under his clothes and with anticipation. The house was nice and warm and I told him to strip immediately. The living room has a convenient pillar, which has some rings, I easily attached him to them by his collar, his hands behind him and the thighs. He still had quite a bit movement, that was the effect I wanted. I changed into my leathers. I went about my business, checked the garden, made a drink, fed him a smoothie (we usually put some protein powder in to build him up, he still has to gain some weight).

I prepared the play room and deliberately made some noise. I had not gagged the boy or even muzzled him, but he kept quiet. When I came back into the living room, he had a strained expression on his face. His erection was straining in his device. I checked with him, was he ok for a couple hours play, or should he use the bathroom or put a bag on? He reckoned he had it under control, he would be able to let me know.

I undid his restraints but hooked them up again. He had his hands behind his back and his thighs were clipped together, he could only take small steps. I put a leash on his collar and led him to the playroom. I had put together a device which we had never used before. He was trembling with excitement when he saw it. He had to step onto small platforms, I had to undo his thighs, he needed full movement of his legs. I secured his waist first with a metal belt. A rod along he spine has another metal belt at the chest, for the throat, and around the head. A t-bar has some metal restraints to secure the upper arms and 2 on the lower arms. The restraint at the wrist has a bar which connects to the middle finger, so the hand is stretched open, but he can still move the other fingers. Or one can attach the index or ring finger. The slave has to stand with his legs slightly apart, secured with more metal restraints at the thigh, just under the knee and ankle. He is rigid. For a normal male there would be a metal bar pressing onto his perineum. For Ben I could imagine putting a fuck machine into position. For this session I had upholstered the bar and put some rubber over it, making it a little cushion. I started at the top and worked my way down. I always like to take my time and stroke and tickle him gently. He still had his device on and it was the last thing I did, I removed it. His penis sprung up. I always like to leave him for a while once I have strapped him in. He can adjust himself, as far as that is possible, so he can withstand it for a long time, and it heightens his expectations. His facial expression was already of utter enjoyment. He looked relaxed. So I left and made some noise in the kitchen. When I came back I had a yoghurt with me. I stuck my finger in it and fed it to him, sometimes with 2 or 3 fingers, sometimes just one. He made a good job of sucking my fingers clean.

I played with him a little, stroking him, tickling, twisting his nipples, running my tongue over him, kissing, everything you can imagine. I was very horny, and I had to stop several times to stop him from cumming. Time is funny when we are playing, sometimes it is fast, sometimes it slows down. Well, I had to consider his stoma, so finally I removed the cushion and pleasured him with my fingers until he came, which did not take very long. I gave him my fingers to lick clean, and then loosened his restraints. I asked if he could hold on a bit longer, he nodded yes. I ordered him on his knees and he gave me a nice blow job. I had not come for days, so he had quite a load to swallow.

It is always such a come down after a scene, a feeling of emptiness. The slave had to take care of his absolutions, that took 45 minutes. I waited for him, sitting on the chair, stroking my penis and playing with myself. We then had a shower together. We were both hungry and had something to eat. We were pleasantly tired. We went back to the flat. The slave has to go to the house tomorrow to clean. I have my meeting with Martin.

Thursday, 7^th January

Yesterday evening I thought it would be nice to go away, we have not been anywhere together since we went to my aunts in Dalarna, and now that he is free to travel, we could make it a honeymoon. I looked for my passport and found the box with the piercing ring I was going to give him for the wedding. How did I forget that? Now I am not so sure if I would like another ring. I will think about it. But it was always nice when he fucked me, when he still had his old piercing in. I have only given him a blow job 3 times since he has arrived, and only once when he still had the piercing in. I do not know why I did not take it out earlier, I guess it was just part of him.

I had a good, long meeting with Martin. We discussed locations, we basically do not want to move too far away from our present location, as people are used to it, unless we find something special. We had a look on the internet, it seems most places are only available on a lease. We talked about his proposals and we are going to implement some in our current location. We decided we want to get the input of current members and staff, but in the end we need to attract more people and make more money.

We have picked some estate agents and will go and register with them next week, and generally put the word out that we are looking for new premises, ideally an existing bar or restaurant.

Martin saw the drawing that Ben did the other day. He told me it is a symbol of a powerful male person in tattoo language, a man will have it done when he gets married, with personal variations. Maori history is a hobby of his.

It made me think, it would be nice if I got this design tattooed, the slave has his collar and piercing(s) that connect him to me, but I only have the wedding ring. I sat down and made some copies of it and drew several designs, personalising it. When the slave came home from cleaning the house later that afternoon, I showed him my designs and told him my idea. He was all for it and together we picked a design. We have not decided where on my body to have it, I think we will get the professionals' advice for that.

I told the boy about my idea to go away. He thinks us going away is a nice idea, he has only been in Stockholm. He has not even seen much of the surrounding country side.

A quiet start to the new year

Sunday, 3^rd January

The boy spent most of yesterday cleaning the apartment, I had to make sure he had his meals. To be honest, I have never cleaned it myself, so I am not aware how much needs doing. The slave has helped Lasse and Per before, and I guess Per, having been a critical care nurse, knows about disinfecting etc. I would certainly be happy to use everything in there, as I know the people who cleaned it and their standards.

In the evening I finally got a chance to talk to him about New Years Eve. I started with assuring him I was not angry, and I understood he did not tell me straight away. But I had to know about it! I am very sorry that he had to go through it, that I was not there to protect him, but proud how he handled himself. I told him I did not want an apology or explanation, just an assurance that he will tell me in time if something similar should happen again.

Today we were invited to Stine and Torben for lunch, as thank you for dog sitting. This time we were mainly reminiscing about our student days. Ben posed a question, he did say if he overstepped a mark to tell him, but why did they not have children? Stine and Torben were happy to answer, they had asked us intimate questions, and they rather get asked than people skirting around the subject. They are both carriers of the same genetic defect and lost a baby a few weeks after it was born. They would have to go through IVF and screen the embryos. They did not want to go through it. They went through the adoption procedure, but were disillusioned by the system.

We all went for a walk, Django was very pleased to have us all to play with him.

Monday, 4^th January

I had to go into work today to clear my desk and my locker and return my ID card etc. I am going to help out doing holiday cover in the summer, but I want to take a clean break for now.

The young man who was my last patient had died. I came into the office, a colleague was there and told me immediately. The procedure is that I have to review my notes, the family might want an enquiry, and as it was at the end of my very long shift, they might claim I did something wrong. He died of a severe sudden bleed in his brain. There was nothing we could have done.

It was strange to walk out with my bag of stuff and knowing I won't be back, hopefully, for some time. I am sure I am going to miss it, the challenge of medicine.

I have not made any plans what to do all day every day. As much as I love my husband, and I think he thinks the same, we will need time apart. I need to find something to keep me busy. I thought I might enrol into adult education classes.

Tuesday, 5^th January

So, last night the slave and I sat down and discussed what we are going to do the next few months.

Ben: 1 -close his account and get the money transferred to Sweden

2 – change his driving license to a Swedish one – lessons required

3 – take formal Swedish classes and do an examen

Owe: 1 – find new premises for the club 3months +

2 – get town house surveyed and organise any building work 3month+

Does not look very good, does it? I definitely need to find myself something to do.

Ben is looking forward to driving lessons. We went to my bank today and started the process. We were advised to open an account here, and then he could just transfer the money over. Ben was sceptical, he said that will take ages, and he will probably be suspected of criminal activities. He informed us there is more than1.2Mill Canadian dollars in the account. I nearly fell off my chair, and the banker had to take some of his water. So the procedure is more complicated and we have been referred to another section of the bank. When we left I asked him if the movies did that well? He laughed and answered, it was compensation money. Part of it is in the trust fund to pay for his health care bills, part was purely compensation for the mental distress. Am I angry because he kept it from me, his Master, husband? Well, I guess I am more disappointed. We have touched on the subject before when we talked about closing his account, and when the compensation issue came up first. I think he should have told me that he is wealthy, or even Barbara should have mentioned it. I actually did some numbers when we started talking about me taking the slave, if I could afford it. (easily, but still, one has to do the numbers)

I left it, I thought we talk about it later, at home. We both went to the gym. I informed them I am no longer entitled to the hospital discount, and they offered to keep me on that rate until I have to renew my/our membership in May. Very nice. We had lunch at out favourite neighbourhood restaurant, to celebrate our new start. In the afternoon he had some home work to do and I did some work in the office and checked my e-mails.

I have set a date with Martin to get the process rolling for finding a new venue. I read over a report from Mr Allender, he surveyed our house. He recommends a new heating system, ours is 35 years old. Anything like that is inefficient, technology has moved on so much in the last decade. He also recommends replacing the windows. They are not much younger. At least the wiring and plumbing is ok, those were done just before I inherited. I guess I'll have to dip into the building fund heavily. I have made an appointment with him to talk about his ideas.

When I came back into the living room the boy was doodling. I told him off, then looked at what he had drawn. It was not a doodle, it looked structured. I liked the design, it was like a Maori tattoo. I asked him if it meant anything to him, and he admitted it is a design he had had in his head for a few days now. He had finished his homework, by the way, so he was alright.

He is preparing dinner now, just something light, as we both had a good lunch.

Happy New Year?

Monday, 28^th December

I will miss that mutt when he goes, but is also a lot of work. I had yesterday off, and we made the most of the time, we went to the house. After taking the dog for a long walk we had a good time in the play room. At one time we were disturbed by Django barking. I checked what was going on, he was barking at the cellar door. Now it is getting creepy. We are meeting Ingrid and Sabine in town later, the 2 women have become friends.

Wednesday, 30^th December

My last day at work tomorrow. The slave is kind of looking forward to it, on the other hand he does not want me at home all day. I guess we both need to find another hobby. I feel the same, what will I do with all my time? I have volunteered, as usual, to do the night shift. We are always busy in A&E.

We took Django home earlier. It was difficult for the boy to say goodbye. He is trying to come up with the courage to ask me if we can have a dog. Sometimes I can read him like the headline on a red top paper. Maybe later in the summer, I first want to see how our live develops.

I am doing a late shift today, then I need to pre-sleep tomorrow afternoon. I have to start earlier than a normal night shift, it will be 14 hours. I will be sad not be able to say “happy new year” to the boy, considering what an exciting year it will be for us, but the time does not really matter. I know he will have something special planned for when I get home. He is allowed to go to the club if he fancies it.

Friday, 1^st January

Happy new year!

I had a very busy night, we had an emergency operation just before my shift was supposed to finish, so I did 3 hours overtime. Ben had come to the hospital to wait for me. It was nice to be able to walk home with him, I had to lean onto him I was so tired. When we got home he made me something to eat while I had a long, hot shower. After I had eaten I just crashed. He came to bed with me, it relaxed me, and we both fell asleep.

He did go to the club last night, he has never been one to go clubbing, it was more about having company. Of course he is quite well known there now.

He woke me up early afternoon. He made me something to eat and then we went for a stroll around the neighbourhood. The fresh air was nice. In the evening we just crashed on the sofa, I told him about the idiots I had seen on my last shift. The emergency operation we had to do was on a young man who had fallen off a balcony, drunk. He has amongst others broken ribs, a broken pelvis, most likely spinal injuries and head injuries. Doing the anaesthetic in a case like that is challenging enough, but after a 12 hour, relentless shift? To be honest, I will be surprised if he pulls through.

It was good to be able to unload to Ben. He was sitting opposite me on the sofa and massaging my feet, bliss. I rubbed my foot against his abdomen and he immediately shouted: Don't and ran off. I had forgotten about his stoma. There was some leakage, but not too bad. I apologised profusely.

His timetable today is a bit screwed up as he slept longer this morning.

We settled down on the sofa again and I asked him when he first realised he liked bondage. He told me his story how he first fell for Barbara, and was slowly introduced by her and Robert to it. Over time it became a “need”. He said he talked with Barbara about it a lot and reckons when other teenagers went through puberty, he did not. It was only when he started having sex aged 19 that certain hormones got released and synapses in his brain formed. He himself thinks he is on the autistic spectrum, with his need for order, his willingness, or desire, to submit and serve. I asked him if he would describe himself as gay, or he has called himself bisexual before. He answered he does not want to put a label on it, I love you, and you happen to be a man. I mulled this over and realised he had indirectly said “I love you” for the first time to me. I think he had noticed it, too, because he lent over me and said: Yes, I love you! and gave me a kiss.

Despite this we are sleeping in our own beds tonight.

Saturday, 2^nd January

We both got up at a “normal“ time today to get back into a rhythm.

The slave had to clean the apartment, it was booked and is booked again for the weekend. P/L are back from Malmo today. It takes a very long time to clean the apartment. We do not usually let it out back to back. I offered to help, but he said he has his system.

I got a phone call from Martin. He updated me on a successful New Years eve party, and then asked if Ben is around. That sounded ominous. He told me what had happened, I had a feeling something was wrong, the boy was too quiet about it. He was hassled by a guy who thinks of himself as a Master. Apparently he was a temporary member on his 3^rd visit, he first came on the December M/S

evening, then a few days before Christmas. Martin had en eye on him anyway, as some members had pointed him out to staff, he did not fit in. He made several attempts to speak to the slave, and once Martin overheard him at the bar talking to Ben. The guy told him off for coming on his own, and was fiddling with the slave's collar. The slave rebuffed him and Martin gave him a warning as well.

Later in the evening there suddenly was some trouble, the slave had the guy in a hold, he had remembered his self defence. The bouncers threw the guy out and of course he is barred. Martin took the slave into the office and he had one of his meltdowns. Martin forced a shot down him to calm him down. Apparently the guy had approached the slave, cornered him, called him by his internet name and tried to touch him between his legs. After he had calmed down and washed his face the slave stayed in a corner by the bar and Martin took him home once it quietened down.

I am very grateful for Martin's help and that he phoned me. I'm going to have to speak with the boy. I can understand that he did not tell me yesterday morning when he picked me up, and we spoke about it, but he could have told me in the evening.

our first christmas

Monday, 21^st December

Winter solstice today.

It was so nice to wake up yesterday and food was ready. I wonder these days how did I ever manage to have 2 households and organise it all by myself? I notice very much my better diet, my fitness is great and I get admiring looks at the gym.

My cousin took most of the photos at our wedding, he is an amateur photographer. He has sent us a whole bunch from the whole weekend. He is going to send us some professionally developed prints.

We have already selected a few which we have sent on to friends across the pacific already. My favourite one is actually from the next day, outside the museum. I did not know that the photo was taken, they are always the best. We both look so in tune and utterly happy.

We are expecting Stine, Torben and Django tonight at the flat, we will stay here for Christmas, as P/L won't be here either, they are visiting Lasse's brother in Malmo. So we want to get their opinion on the flat.

The slave and I will not celebrate Christmas, no presents either. He has enjoyed the atmosphere in town and the markets, but we are both not religious and we both have bad memories from our youth. Anyway, I will be working. It is just being on-call, I might even be able to stay at home, as of course there will be no operations scheduled.

He is at the migration board now, we had to take our marriage certificate in. Then they will finally issue his residents permit, and hopefully we will have everything sorted!!

Tuesday, 22^nd December

The visit with Django went well, luckily there is a lift in the house, so he does not have to walk up 4 floors to our flat. We have enough green spaces in our neighbourhood to take him for walks. He is coming tomorrow, for a week.

They noticed that Ben did not have a collar, and we explained everything. His sore is healing well, we are actually having the collar engraved. It is strange to see him without one. It surprises me how much it means to me for him to wear one. I know he is mine, we have the rings on our fingers to prove it, but it cements our relationship, because we are Master and slave. He sleeps in his room. We rarely have sex in the bed, and everyone knows how to behave. When I was in a relationship before, what I thought was a Master/slave relationship, I now know was a top/submissive thing. He teaches me so much, he enables me.

Thursday, 24^th December

I am at work, there is not much to do. The slave called me earlier, Django has arrived, and now they are at the migration board to pick up his permit. That was quick!

When I got home today, poor Django was locked into Ben's room. The slave had also picked up the collar. We made a little ceremony out of it. We both would have liked to celebrate in style, but I am on-call, and what if I get a call and it takes too long to release him?

Friday, 25^th December

Although we do not celebrate this day, it feels always a bit special. We had a walk with Django, mostly through hospital grounds. I am going into the office late afternoon, it usually kicks off then, people drink too much and start to fight.