A taster of the future

On New Year's Eve one tends to look towards the future, so here is a taster:

Sven ordered him to sit onto the bench. He took the posture collar off, next he used a hood, I had never used a hood with him before although it was one of ours. I like to see his face, I like to see his enjoyment, or I can see when he is ready to stop. It had a removable blindfold and gag, they were left on. The gag was fixed first, it had a hole so one can insert a straw and to aid breathing. The hood laced, Sven made it look easy, lacing it up once, then going back to tighten it. We made sure he could still communicate his safe word, not that he has EVER used it before. Sven fixed a muzzle over the hood, again it had a whole in the mouth piece through which one can push a tube or straw. Then he secured him to the table, again going round for a second time, tightening the straps. Ben's head was secured to the table by d-rings attached to the muzzle. He tested his restraints, he was nicely bound. His pulse was racing, so we let him settle down and get into the zone. I spoke to him, explaining what was going to happen. He knew he was safe and started to relax.

Next Sven put me into the solid frame. It is like an upright stocks. He had planned to use the milk maid device, he told me later, but I got rid of that when we came back from Canada. I use the upright stocks with Ben frequently we have a set at the flat as well. There are thick pieces of wood, one can adjust the height, one for the ankles, usually one for above or under the knees, one around the waist, one around the neck. One can either have the hands on neck height, or secured to the wooden bar at waist height. If you feel very adventurous, there can be one on chest height. One stands against the wood, which is shaped to fit, and then another wooden bar is secured at the front.

It only fits relatively thin people, Master never played with anyone else than quite slim boys. Sven used the hands down position, it was better for my injured hand. Then he gagged me. He put pads near my nipples and attached them to an e-unit, which was connected to his laptop. He frequently went to the slave to explain to him what was going on and to play with him. Sven wore thin latex gloves, proper gloves, not like doctors use, they are quite an experience. The rubber suit makes a squelching sound, which is quite erotic.

Stefan was sitting on the chair, he had a chastity device on, and was enjoying the sensation of his cock straining against it.

Sven had put a cock ring around the boys penis, and proceeded to put one around my cock base, and another one near the head, both connected to the e-stim device. Oh God, it felt so good. He informed the slave that it was a 45minute programme, no matter when I came.

This in February, so still a few weeks to read before then. I hope you will enjoy reading until then, it gets very interesting anyway!

Life is quiet

Thursday, 23^rd June

The boy had his exam today, he sets himself too high a bar, I am sure he has done well, with all the studying he has done. It is in several parts: grammar and writing, reading and comprehension. Listening and comprehension, and talking. It was 4 hours, excluding breaks. Afterwards we met with Ingrid and had coffee and cake. Ingrid had other students in this exam, for a lot of her pupils it is vital that they pass, for Ben it is just for himself, really. He has never worked properly, and we do not need him to work. He says he might want to go to university, he likes learning.

One topic they could talk about was the Swedish Royal family. He finds it funny that we still have a king, and how crazy everyone was for the wedding of the prince last year. He is working through a book of Swedish history, in swedish. He will know more about my country's history than me.

The results will be out end of August.

Friday, 24^th June

The Tibetan rug arrived today, we had to delay the delivery as we were away. It looks beautiful. We have christened it.

Oh, I have to tell you about the puppy. One of the farm dogs had puppies, most have gone, but they are still looking to house one. It is already 4 months old. Ben and the puppy fell in love, he followed him everywhere. The puppy followed Ben. It was hard for me to have to say no, but we are so busy, and things are still so uncertain. He has enough on his plate with walking Django at the moment. It was always difficult to leave the dog, twice we had to drag him out of the car. He is not allowed in the house, but he sneaked in anyway, a puppy does that. They will probably keep him, as the kids have grown attached to it, too. Maybe we can have him next year, if they are still crazy about each other. Ben understood my reasons for saying no.

I am starting work on Monday, so I have some time to get back into it, before my first colleague goes on holiday next Friday. I have to go through an induction!

We are planning to have quiet weekend together.

Monday, 27^th June

It felt so strange and yet familiar to walk into the hospital and come to work. I had to get my security pass activated, get a password for the computer system, and had a induction with HR, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement, and confirm that I had instruction on several policies, like sexual harassment, racial harassment, etc. I find that always quite funny, as a gay man who has been at the receiving end, and my partner has been verbally abused for being American. He has a slight accent, a mixture between east coast American and Canadian. Despite Ingrids intensive elocution lessons.

We had a lovely weekend, chilling in the house and making use of the bondage table outside. It has been sunny, and despite me smothering him liberally in sun cream, he has a few distinctive stripes.

Midsummer in Dalarna

Saturday, 18^th

We have just bumbled along the last 10 days or so, doing our routine, meeting friends, the boy has done a lot of studying, Ingrid has agreed to some extra lessons.

We are very happy with our new kitchen. Mats is very busy at the moment, so we will probably do the rest of the house all together in the autumn. We have some paint samples of different whites on the walls for us to choose.

We went to Master/slave night last night, we will not be able to go next month as I will be working. I will not send him on his own again. We have put the news of the new premises around the club but have asked for secrecy. We have a questionnaire on the website what members would like in the club, and we have made it clear there will not be a dark room. We asked for volunteers to help at the stall at Pride, and had a good response so far. One of our lady members is an events organiser and has taken over the organisation of the stall. It is great help to us, I have the work at the town house in July as well. Mainly Mr Allender and Per will deal with it though.

We have not had much contact with the Germans, apparently they keep to themselves. The window chap had to get into the flat to measure for the roof terrace doors, they agreed 3 dates, and then they were making difficulties about access. Maybe I should go and inspect the flat. They knew that we are doing some work when they rented it.

We are driving to Dalarna tomorrow to stay with my family for midsummer. We have to come back the day after as the slave has his exam on the 23^rd. He is nervous about it. I told him a break from his studies just before will be good. We have to stay in the main house, as the cottage is let. It will be nice to be able to share the driving this year.

I know I will get comments, yes, we have had lots of sex and bondage. Sometimes I wonder where we get the energy from.

Wednesday, 22^nd June

We had some lovely days in Dalarna, we were so lucky with the weather. It was not too hot, and Midsummer day was especially nice. There was a fun fair in the town and traditional singing and dancing around a tree. As usual Ben and the children had a grand time.

Ben slept on the floor, we had brought his mattress. Kerstin asked why that is, and we explained, like the previous year, he likes it cool and the hard floor, I like a duvet and comfy softness. Which is the truth. One morning we nearly got caught, I had been to the bathroom and forgotten to lock the door again. We heard the children whispering outside, but my aunt must have heard as well and called them away. How do you explain a blow job?

Again we took ourselves off to the woods for some rope bondage. We thought we were far enough from a settlement, when a naked guy walked past us. He just greeted us and said it was nice weather for it. I guess he was as startled as us to meet naked people in the woods, one spread eagled between two trees with some rope and a mask on.

Olav's mum asked me for advice, she had noticed Olav was often tugging at his penis. That is normal behaviour for a boy of his age(he is 4 now), it does not mean he has sexual feelings. She said he also holds off going to the toilet, it hurts him a bit, but after a bath he has no problems. I recommended the boy gets a circumcision, I had the same problem and was circumcised when I was 6. The foreskin is too tight. Just then the boy joined us, and we talked about our preferences. He is circumcised as well, he was as a baby. He nearly launched into a story why he prefers a cut penis, and I managed to cut him off. I sent him off to do some reading, and he understood he had gone too far and apologised, calling me Master. My cousin-in-law enquired if reading was a code word. I answered, yes, he has misbehaved and he will be in our room awaiting punishment.

He can handle a gag, but we do not use one much any more, so when I gagged him all night he was sore and stiff the next morning.

He liked the festivities, and on Midsumer night we climbed fences and collected wild flowers, whilst not talking, like he had read in “Children of Bullerbu”. One puts the flowers under the pillow and the person you dream of that night is your special person. Of course we dreamt of each other!

We were sad to leave. My aunt has got angina, but with medication she is coping well. I sincerely hope she will be around for a long time.

Reflections and planning

Wednesday, 1^st June

Saturday will be the anniversary that Ben arrived in Sweden. I am thinking about how we can mark it, or if we even should.

We had a good meeting at the accountants, and together with Mr Allender we have come up with a sum we want to pay and have put in the offer. The slave came with us to the meeting, and he kept his promise to be silent.

Tonight the slave and I talked about gay pride. He has never been to one, he and his family have been to Folsom Street Fair in SF several times. There is a Folsom fair in Berlin, later in September. We might go to that. The slave agreed with me that having a stall at the pride event was a good idea to promote the club, but otherwise he has no interest to go to the parade, either as a participant or spectator. He still does not classify himself as gay or even bisexual. He is a person who loves a man. I like that attitude. Of course I will be working when the Pride event is on, it is height of holiday season. We are expecting friends from Helsinki, and members have offered spare rooms and sofas for the visitors, we will host a couple (as in 2 people in a relationship) as well.

We are putting a committee together to organise the stall, it needs to be manned for 3 days.

In the afternoon we picked up our new crockery and pans. We bought it at an upmarket shop in the town centre, and could not take it on the train, so we drove into town to collect it. The slave was a bit nervous driving through busy town traffic, but I think I would not have been much better, as I rarely drive. We spent a couple of hours washing everything and putting it away. I will bring our old stuff to a charity tomorrow.

Saturday, 4^th June

I was able to get a holiday cottage in the archipelago from a friend, and we came yesterday evening. It is the only house on a little island. We had to take a ferry, and then a motorboat from a bigger island where the ferry stops. It feels almost as if we are the only people in the world if it was not for the other 4 islands in this cluster, which also have visitors. It is National Day on Monday, and we will stay until then. It will be busy on the ferry, we have booked our space. We had to take everything with us, food, clothes, drink. It is traditional to celebrate National Day with eating crayfish and lots of drinking. I tell people I am allergic to shellfish so I can excuse myself. We decided not to mark the anniversary of Ben stepping onto Swedish soil. It made him quite sad to think about it.

Although we speak to Barbara and Erik regularly, it is the little things when I notice how happy he is here, when he smiles at a joke he understood, for example.

Monday, 6^th June

We are back at the house, of course he cleaned the cottage before we left, they have a cleaner, but he cannot leave something “dirty”. Sunday it rained, but it was still nice, he did some homework, and I read a book that was in the cottage. It was Selma Lagerloef, a famous Swedish author from the turn of the last century. The boy tried to read it, but the old style was a bit difficult for him.

As predicted, the ferry was very busy, we met some people we knew from the club, but we just nodded hello and exchanged some pleasantries.

Tuesday, 7^th June

The boy had his usual schedule and I did not see him all day. We met at class. It was nice without that guy there.

Wednesday, 8^th June

Our offer has been accepted and we take possession on the first of October. We have to come up with the money, of course we will have the club until the end of the year, then we get the money from that sale. Actually, the slave will cover the purchase price, he will loan the money. My investment will be the old club, and Martin will chip in as well. The refurbishment will cost, but the plan is I will pay some money back to Ben.

We spent the afternoon with Stine and Torben, we had them round for coffee. The table was still on the patio, it made them a bit uncomfortable, so we moved everything down to the lake shore.

The boy has slept a lot in his cage lately, he wants to be near me. Sometimes it feels as if we are on our second honeymoon.

Fun in the garden

Tuesday, 31^st May

I met with Martin today to compare our plans. We pretty much had the same ideas for the layout, for now we are not incorporating the outbuildings. We have both kept the flat upstairs for someone to live in. We do not want to be a sex club, we are not having a dark room or play room. We have separate rooms, for chilling out and be able to talk. Basically we want to have a main room we can use for dancing as well as for having drinks. We want a small stage. As we will take over after the summer, we want to concentrate on the main building. Later we can convert an outbuilding into an outside bar. We will need one for storage to put garden furniture in for the winter.

We discussed if we want to take a stall at Stockholm Pride this year. Last year they had introduced a special kink area. I am not a fan of gay pride, I have no need to advertise my lifestyle, and I think the parade has lost it's identity, and I just showing off to spectators, it is not political.

Last year we were approached, but declined, as I was too busy, I had the slave to consider.

Martin has been approached by some members if we have a presence this year, so maybe it would be a good way to advertise the new premises, but we need to put in an offer first. We arranged to meet the accountant tomorrow to talk about the purchase. We could have a float, but I have said no to that. If some members want to do a float, I am happy to sponsor them, quietly.

Yesterday afternoon I roped the slave into the frame in the garden. He had restraints on his wrists, a waist belt, ankles and a head harness with a muzzle, and then I attached him to the hooks in the frame with rope. It was a sunny day and I smothered sun cream on him. He was trembling under my touch, I took his belt off and used my creamed hand to wank him off. Then I mowed the lawn. The slave enjoyed himself. The table is still outside, and after dinner he happily spent an hour strapped onto it. Suddenly Django ran into the garden, and we heard Torben call him. We were apprehensive if he would come round, but then he would have to fight his way through some shrubs. One has to go through the house really to get into the garden, which is quite deliberate. A dog can get through the shrubs. Luckily Django followed his masters orders and soon disappeared. But it had broken the spell and I released Ben. We went for a shower, we often use his shower if we both use it as he has a wet room. When I do my bathroom a big shower area is a must.

I have just had an idea, we should make some enquiries if our customers can swim at the new premises. We could convert an outbuilding into changing areas.

A re-union

Thursday, 26^th May

I miss the boy so much. He is under instruction to phone me every night. He is enjoying himself very much, he struggles with the food, even Sabine says their food is bad. They have started to go out for meals.

I went to meditation Tuesday evening, it was strange being there without Ben. I missed him so much I went to sleep in his cell, but moved to my bed later. How can he sleep there? Well, he does not like the bed, he is used to his cot. It is quite a difference.

The kitchen is all done, we have a glass splash back in bright red, it looks gorgeous. I asked the carpenter to fix some hooks to the kitchen work top, he actually managed to hide them. I cannot explain the mechanism. I gave him a good tip. He confessed to me he had asked his girlfriend if they can introduce some rope into their sex life, he is newly single. I encouraged him to keep looking for a girl who likes it, I thought after 50 Shades of Grey many wanted to try it. By the way, what a shit book. I am going to leave the boy to put everything into the cupboards, he does most of the cooking.

With his sense of order he is looking forward to doing it.

He will be back tomorrow lunchtime.

Friday, 27^th May

I was just locking up yesterday when the sound of a car pulling into our drive disturbed me. It was the slave! The course had officially finished, it was just a social dinner and then everyone leaves after breakfast Friday morning. Sabine and him decided to come home early. We had spoken on the phone earlier, he said nothing about coming home!

He ought to be punished for lying to me and wasting my money, but I was too happy to see him.

He did not want to see the kitchen, so I guided him to the bedroom wing while he kept his eyes closed and we had our re-union. We turn each other on and enjoy sex very much. I have never felt anything like it. We are still discovering each other, and our familiarity is comfortable. We enjoy vanilla sex and bondage sex equally, it depends on the moment.

As the slave had not booked for gym or yoga, he stayed at home and sorted the kitchen while I went to the gym. He liked it very much, and was very methodical in putting things away. This weekend we have to shop for all new stuff, it is stupid, but I agree, our stuff just does not look right, it is cheap.

I have finalised my plans for the new club. It was fun playing around with ideas. The slave has approved my plans. Of course he has a veto, as investor, but he said he wants to be a silent one.

A good weekend!

Friday, 20^th May

Sabine told the boy that the guy has been asked to leave the centre, there was an incident Thursday evening. Such a shame really, that a lot of guys just do not know when they are crossing a line, especially when it involves sex.

We made a start on the house after lunch. Between the 4 of us we have done quite a bit, but it is a big house. We are going to M/s night, I am quite looking forward to it. I have worked on my plans for the layout, but am not ready to present them yet. The boy enjoys talking to other slaves, most are not in a relationship like us, but they can still compare notes.

We had his hair cut really short this morning, the shortest it has ever been since he has been here. I like it very much, he looks even younger now. I am quite sure we will get comments, positive ones.

Sunday, 22^nd May

We had a good time at M/s night, the slave's haircut was a talking point. I felt very proud. We are so close at the moment. At one point, we were both talking to people, I looked across the room to him, and he looked at me, and then came over and knelt down beside me, slightly leaning against my leg.

I did not ask him to do it, he has never done it before, I guess he just wanted to express we belong together. I stroked over his head and played with his ears, he just stayed next to me. We left shortly afterwards. I would like him to stay all night in my bed more often, but he says he gets too hot and cannot sleep.

We spent most of Saturday painting the house, the slave cooked a nice meal for everyone for lunch. It was a nice warm day, lightly overcast, ideal for working outside. We got ¾ of the house done.

In the evening we went to a public screening of the song contest, we had fun. It was just good fun. Some people around us heard the slave's American accent and when they found out that the Americans do not know about the Eurovision, proceeded to tell him lots of history, pointing out the previous winners who were gay, I have forgotten their names.

Today we will finish the painting, it is my turn to cook today. Sahid is coming over later.

Monday, 23^rd May

The carpenters came at 8am and dismantled the kitchen. We are never up this early. It is going to take longer, we found a slow leak under the sink and the floor needs to be repaired. The boy and Sabine left in the early afternoon. It will be 2nd time that we are apart. Well, I guess we were apart when he was in hospital and at the Schloss, but we saw each other often. Now he will be away for 4 nights. He is going with his belt, and he is allowed to put a plug in at night. I had offered to remove his collar, but he wanted it on, it keeps us connected. Most believe him when he says it is a necklace.

Headline - difficult to come up with

Tuesday, 17^th May

Martin and I had a meeting with Mr Allender, his report says the building is sound. He recommends upgrading the electrics, plumbing and heating, if we are going to rip it apart anyway. It is still good, but would need doing in the next 5 to 10 years. If we considered solar panels, we need to strengthen the roof, but it would make sense to do it on the outbuildings as well, then we would be able to be self sufficient. He has given us indication of an amount for the works. It is overwhelming when you first hear the sums, but when you do the maths, it would be stupid not to do the work now. We have the blue prints of the building and have looked at how we can change the layout, which walls need to stay etc. Martin and I are going to come up each with our own layout and plans and then meet to compare. That will be interesting!

We had a good time with P/L yesterday. I would say they know us best, and if we have any

problems in our relationship, we can rely on them to dish out good advice.

Wednesday, 18^th May

Stockholm is in Eurovision Song contest fever. The boy has never heard of it. I explained what significance it has around Europe and in Sweden. He told me he had never heard of ABBA, but I did not believe him, and he admitted he tried to con me. It is supposedly very popular in gay communities, but we will not be showing it at the club, we are advertising a Eurovision free zone.

Sweden is hosting the contest this year, it will be in Malmo. But it will be shown open air on big screens everywhere in Stockholm. He wants to go and see it, I do not mind, should be fun.

Yesterday something unpleasant happened after meditation class. A new guy has been there 2 weeks, he is staying at the centre, he has just returned from 4 month in a monastery in Nepal. He is a bit weird. Usually we stick around after class for a cup of tea. He came over to me and asked if Ben

and I were in a relationship. Now, we are not all over each other in public, but it is obvious we are a couple. Then he asked me who is the top, he assumed it was me. I told him he must be joking to ask me such a question, but he was serious. I just left him standing, went over to where the boy was talking to another student, made our excuses and we left. Outside I explained why I wanted to leave so quickly. The boy admitted this guy has been ruffling feathers at the centre and that day over staff dinner he made comments about the boy's collar. Luckily the boss had intervened.

Thursday, 19^th May

The forecast is for good weather and Mats asked if we want the house painted over the weekend. We agreed, then the boy and I can help.

I saw Sabine before yoga and mentioned the comments the guy had made Tuesday, and expressed we might not come any more if he is there, and I do not want the boy to help in the kitchen. She assured me the guy was not going to be there for a long time.

The boy came home with quite some homework to do, as he is not around next week for lessons. It' s the writing and spelling which he needs to practice. I put him into one of my Master's devices for an hour, and he was frustrated because he wanted to make a start on his homework. I put a blood pressure cuff on him, and I told him he had to get his pressure down for me to release him. He is quite good at controlling his body. He managed to get it down through meditating. I did it to teach him patience. We had an early dinner and then he did some studying.

A weekend part II

Sunday, 15^th May

The slave woke me in his gentle way and he was allowed to suck me off. I think he was still tired, he was a bit careless. We had a good breakfast, we both needed nourishment.

We took the car to the country, we do not use the car very much, so sometimes we use it just so we keep it ticking over. Sweden's countryside is lovely at this time of year. We found a restaurant. We asked if there was a lake nearby, and were given directions to a small lake, accessed through a track through the woods. There was a little beach and we rested there. I had brought some rope and tied his legs together and tied his upper arms with the rope tight behind his back. That way he could still use his hands and had some movement. We made out for a long time. I was so turned on, he sucked me off again. This time was better, but I came so fast. I laid on top of him, kissing, with my dick still out, rubbing against him. We nearly fell asleep, luckily it started to rain, heavily. I undid his ties on his legs, so he could get to the car, and undid the rest in the car. He requested that I tied his wrists for the journey. At home I took him into the house, with his wrists still tied. The ties were quite loose, he still had some movement, and he stayed tied all evening. God, he is so sexy in bondage!

I had him over the kitchen counter, it gave us an idea...

Monday, 16^th May

I miss P/L and their advise and help. Lasse is better, now it is lighter again. We invited them for coffee and cake, the boy has been baking this morning. The oven has gone wrong, it took double the time for the cake. Well, it is only here for another week or so.

We are both still smiling from our weekend. It is nice to be normal for a week or so and then get really into it. I would have liked to restrain him today, but he has stuff to do, and it is better when he has full movement. It is still raining. The bondage table is still outside, it should be alright. I have put some tarpaulin over it.

An intense weekend part 1

Friday, 13^th May

Ouoh, Friday the 13^th! It is stupid superstition, but we do get the silliest accidents and incidents in an Emergency department on this date.

Ben stayed with me last night, it smelled too much of paint in his room. It looks very nice, it needs another coat, so I will most likely have him for another night. I do not mind at all, he practised what he learned at Leif's. MMMHH!! He stayed the whole night in the bed!

We are going through a phase again, when the kids were here we were so happy, then we had the upset because of my plans with Leif, and now we are even closer again.

The boy had his lesson with Ingrid in an antiques shop yesterday, which Ingrid was minding for a friend. He saw an armchair which he fell in love with. I had said, he can have new furniture, but after the business with the rug he did not want to buy it without my consent, so I checked it out today. He had left his card details to pay for it, and I arranged to have it delivered tomorrow. One of the lamps we bought will go nicely with it. We did not really need a lamp, but it was nice, so we bought it. It has been in the living room, but it did not look right there. His current one can go into the living room instead. His carpet is being fitted tomorrow as well. We did not even consider that the fitters will work in a room with a cell. Well, I'll give them a good tip.

Mats and Andre are finishing inside today, I am hanging around the house to check on it, not that it is needed.

I just read again what I wrote the last week, obviously Ben ( I do call him Ben a lot lately) and I have not been in the playroom or even done much else. He will most likely approach me this weekend. I am up for it. I answered some e-mails from readers, some are having a go at me for posting less explicit stuff. Hey, this is actually our life, not a story or fantasy. Do not read it then. I started to put it online, as I thought it might help other people in a similar situation, or people who think they are a Master, or people who want to submit. There are a lot of players out there, but to be 24/7 like Ben and me, that requires hard work from both of us. Like every relationship we have our ups and downs, as the last week or so proved. I am not always in the mood to be Master. It is responsibility. My attitude has changed a lot since the first months, I had to. I would have lost him. Even if not physically, than in his mind. And it would have been a M/s relationship which I usually condemn and which is not a happy one.

Saturday, 14^th May

I sent the boy shopping while the carpet was being fitted. When the fitters arrived I told them it is an unusual room, and requested they do not comment on it. They were actually quite nonplussed, at least they did not show it in front of me. It looks lovely, and the chair came as well, I put it all into his room and put his shelves back and books in before he came home. We had arranged I would call him to let him know everything is done and he can come back.

When he came home I blindfolded him and led him to the room, barefoot. The carpet feels lovely. He was surprised to see the chair, and was very happy with it. The room looks much more homely now, I guess before it was practical. He was very pleased with it and the effort I made to put everything back.

I had prepared lunch and we ate outside. Afterwards we enjoyed just sitting in the sun, silently.

The boy adheres to slave rules, that he does not chatter. He will ask me a question sometimes, and at dinner we have our time, but usually he is very good at anticipating and non-verbal communication.

We do not listen much to radio, or even watch much TV, and if I listen to music, then I listen. The house can be eerily quiet.
After about an hour I instructed the boy to help me get the bondage table set up outside. He trembled with excitement and could hardly unscrew the table. It is fixed to the floor, to make sure it is stable, and we have fixings outside. My Master was very clever like that.

I dressed the boy in some leather chaps, his straitjacket and a hood. He got strapped to the table, and then I removed his belt. I put a big dildo which vibrates into his ass, it took some probing and lots of lube. His muscles had not been stretched for some time, he wears deliberately quite small butt plugs, so he needs to clench. I put a pouch on him, strapped tightly, that way he could get hard, but not erect. It was very erotic for both of us, he tested his restraints, the sound of leather against leather turns us both on. I was playing with the settings on the vibrator, and stroking him, sometimes with gloves, sometimes bare hands. Sometimes I would walk away and just leave him for a period of time to get lost in it. When I came back and touched him he would jump. His feet were bare and I tickled them and sucked on his toes. Sadly I have to bear in mind that he needs to eat. Drink is not too much of a problem, but we like to stick to his timetable with meals and the consequences. It is an extra challenge which can be a bother, but also makes the time in bondage more “exclusive” and intense. I do plan my little scenarios, and often that is almost as much fun for me as actually carrying it out. Today I had planned part 2, we often do 2 scenes, if we have all day, like today. We both had something to eat, and after a while we were ready for more. This time we took it inside.

I left him naked, and strapped him into a hanging harness. I put a posture collar on him, nothing else on the head. His hands were tied behind his back with rope, secured to the harness, and his upper arms as well. Then I secured his legs behind his back, again using the rope. I tied it around the upper thigh first, then bent his knee and tied it around the shin and tied it to the harness at the back.

I secured a bar between his ankles with leather restraints. He was a well wrapped parcel. I enjoyed kissing and touching him. He was straining to cum. I wanked him off, we managed 3 times. After that he was exhausted and I let him down, and I had to hold him. He had to clean himself, it took him longer than usual as he was so tired. I sent him straight to bed, no belt, no plug, just his pyjamas on. He slept soundly all night.

We are decorating and we explore each other

Monday, 9^th May

Today Mats and his friend Andre arrived at 8.30am to start working. We asked them to concentrate onto the inside of the house. They were quiet and got on with the work quickly. I left Mats to choose shades of white for upstairs, as we rarely use it. The office is not that important to me either. They did the bedroom today, finished. Great. I went to the gym today and left Ben in charge. Tomorrow I will stay here, while the slave is out all day. He has discussed options with Mats. We kept the playroom closed, and Ben would like to keep Andre out of his room as well. Mats says of course we can trust him, but Ben wants to keep it private.

Tuesday, 10^th May

Mats and Andre will get a good recommendation from me, they work at speed with good results, tidy up as they go and do not smoke or listen to horrible radio. I went to meditation class, Sabine and Ben had already talked about a retreat place they would like to go to. She gave me the details, I have just checked it out, it looks good. I will give them a call tomorrow, of course we need to consider Ben's stoma and diet, if that is no problem, I will book it for them.

Wednesday, 11^th May

I have booked the retreat for them, we decided Ben will drive. We left Mats and Andre alone this afternoon, as they started the corridor and we were in the way. We can trust them. Ben wanted to get some carpet. We did the measuring together. We have picked something quite expensive, a nice wool

barber. It is not a big space, so I did not mind paying a bit more. We had the usual short argument who will pay, I said I want to pay to make it comfortable for him. Tonight we are meeting Leif at his house. Ben wants to be able to make a more informed decision. My horniness has actually worn off, and I already told Master Sven things are on hold, but I would not mind doing the scene some time.

Thursday, 12^th May

Ben and I went to the gym together, we would just be in the way at the house. Mats will do Ben's room today. We had a very interesting meeting with Leif. Leif explained the procedure he wanted to do on me in detail. Ben asked some questions. The more I heard, the more doubts I got, and I expressed it to Leif. He understood and said, if I want to pull out, it is ok with him. I could see relief on Ben's face. Leif knows about Ben's female parts, and he asked if he can have a look, purely professional. Ben was happy to do that. Leif was allowed to explore him with his fingers. Leif asked us some questions about Ben's operation. We talked some more about g-spots, prostrate and the pleasure of anal sex, and it turns out Ben has never fingered anyone. So I volunteered and Leif gave Ben instructions. Another bonus will be he now knows what a prostate is and how it should feel like, now he can keep check on it. He has long enough fingers to make it a very pleasurable experience. We will explore this more at home, as a Master, I guess I thought I was happy to give sex and receive blow jobs, and the occasional fuck.

I am glad we went to see Leif, and the boy was as well. Oh, I am not going through with the scene anymore.

Planning the future

Friday, 6^th May

The slave has done a nice job in the kitchen, he has sorted a few items out and we need to go shopping, it has been deemed the plates etc do not go with the new kitchen, and we need new saucepans. Fine with me.

I had a good meeting, my friend has come up with a nice idea I am willing to submit to. I can involve the slave if I want to. I will tell him that I am going to play with my friend, he might choose not to participate.

Master Sven has gotten back to me, too, he has a nice idea. This one would involve Ben. Master Sven asked if he can have the stretch rack. He will come tomorrow to dismantle it and take it away. I will be glad to have it out of the house.

Saturday, 7^th May

It was a nice day today, so we have prepared the house outside for painting. I have cut shrubs back, and we have brushed off cobwebs etc. In the evening we have prepared the spare bedroom and office for painting. I told the boy about my plans with Leif, my doctor friend, he got very upset and said: count me out! I am now having my doubts, but I will be torn until the last minute. I have not discussed my plan with Sven with him yet. He met him and his slave today, Sven's current beau is in his early 20's, but he knows what he wants. I can imagine he will make a good Master one day with the right encouragement. It took quite a while to dismantle the rack, Ben made drawings of the parts and packaged screws and small parts together so they could easily put it together again. Clever boy! He was quite good at drawing.

Sunday, 8^th May

The slave is still off with me because of my plans with Leif. I accept it. We went to the restaurant we are considering buying, we stayed for a drink, one can see the owner does not want to do it anymore. In this location it needs a total overhaul to work. Ben thought it was a good place for our plans. He still wants to invest, his money is still just sitting in his account. I told him about my plan to send him away during the kitchen installation, at first he was upset, after some consideration he agreed with me. We walked back most of it, we were actually holding hands. We haven't done that for some time. He asked me if he can choose the colours for his room. Of course he can. He said he does not like this room as much as the one at the flat for some reason, I told him he should decorate as he wishes, and if he wants new furniture or a new carpet or anything, we can make it happen. When we came home he excused himself and just sat in his room, I think he was meditating. At one point he was writing a lot. I guess this weekend has us both given us a lot to think.

Plans for the future

Thursday, 5^th May

Martin and I looked at the restaurant/bar today. The location is fantastic, close enough to public transport, but private enough, with some garden with high hedges, some garden more open. I can see why business has dropped, it is a destination, one has to know it is there. The interior is tired, like ours, and outside is a bit scruffy, too. The owner wants to retire, he has a son in Spain who runs a bar there, they want to move there. This place has a kitchen, which is old fashioned. We were not looking for a kitchen, so it does not matter to us, but having the possibility is good. There are some outbuildings we could make use of, or upstairs, though I like the idea of having someone live there, for security. He is asking a very reasonable price. I am going to send Mr Allender to give it a once over, and we want to get some ideas how we will use the building and an idea of cost for the works.

Then we will make an offer.

I am meeting my friend the pathologist for a drink tonight, on my own. My hormones are still raging and the wearing of the cb has made me want a session as a bottom. I told him not to get his hopes up, but if he presents me with a plausible scenario, he can have me for a night. I have also contacted Master Sven, maybe I will even play with both of them. The slave does not know anything, it is none of his business, at this stage. I have set him a task for tonight, to itemise the kitchen and sort things out.

Life

Monday, 2^nd May

We have a date for the kitchen to be fitted, it will be the last week in May. It will be 3 days if everything goes to plan. I am going to have to do something about the boy though, he will go bananas with the work. Either we go away together, which I honestly do not want to do, I would like to be here to oversee the work, or I have to send him away. Maybe there is a yoga retreat he can do.

I will ask Sabine and Ingrid for ideas. I guess he can always stay with P/L.

We went to the gym today, I am still struggling with my hormones, I had to put the cb on again.

Tuesday, 3^rd May

This morning we went to the gym, the boy has his packed day. I met with Martin, amongst other topics we wanted to discuss if we need to review our criteria for the premises. He had a call from an estate agent, he had an interesting object just come in. It is a premise on the shore line in Sodermalm, with garden, upstairs manager flat, which could be used otherwise, outbuildings. The owner wants to sell after the summer. Business has been rather flat the last 2 years, it seems the place just went out of fashion. We made a date to view, it sounds ideal! It is a “secret” sale, the owner has not even told his staff yet.

I asked Sabine if she can suggest anywhere for the boy to go to whilst the kitchen is fitted, she will get back to me. I said I would be very happy if she could go as well, he can get uncomfortable around strangers, of course I would pay for her.

Ingrid phoned me after the lesson, she said the boy was so full of enthusiasm about the visit. It was good to hear that. I still get worried about him. He has proven that he feels he is at home here and he wants to stay, but sometimes he still feels like an alien. When I lived in Boston, I always knew I would go back to Sweden. No matter how much he embraces our culture, how well he speaks the language, he will always be an American.

Wednesday, 4^th May

Mats came today to discuss the decorating. He mentioned we need to paint the outside. Ben said he could do that, he and his brothers painted their house, and Erik and him the house in Canada. We agreed that he can help. I am certainly not going to make the mistake again like I did in the flat, and I told Mats I want white. Mats convinced me to consider different shades of white. We will wait until

the kitchen is installed to do the living room, but upstairs, the hall and stairs and Ben's room will be done. Later in the year I am going to replace my bathroom, and I will wait with doing up the bedroom until then. Mats can start next week, and he will bring a colleague. It will take 5 days for inside. They can do the outside as well, depending on the weather. He is doing me mates rates, we assured him I can/want to pay full price. He will probably still quote me a lower rate.

The rug Ben bought won't be delivered until mid June, as the exhibition is until then.

In the afternoon we drove to a forest and had some fun with rope amongst the trees. I filmed him, he is a natural in front of the camera. I am getting to grips with my cb. Ben likes it very much.

A visit from my family

Sunday, 1^st May

We took the family to the train station after breakfast. It was nice having them here, my aunt is like a mother to me, and Ben and the kids are fantastic together. It was hard work though. My cousin had requested we keep our lifestyle away from the kids, and of course we accepted that. We would have done it anyway. They would not have understood. Kids at that age accept a lot, but trying to explain the intricacy of a M/s relationship is too much for them.

Is it the rising sap in the trees, that the evenings are getting longer and it is getting warmer. Around this time of year I am always incredibly horny, and this year was the same. It did not help to have the slave sleep in my room, and he is so lovely with the kids and just so god damn sexy! I managed to fit

some relief times into the day. First time under the shower, always by myself. My aunt is not a morning person, so it was either me or Ben up with the kids. They love him, I guess he is a big kid himself, so he was great. They noticed he had a new necklace. Luckily we had the engraving done in english, so what we told them it says is not quite true. I showed them my tattoo, they were interested to hear about it. Olaf wanted one too, we explained why he cannot have one and he understood. But I think we have planted a seed.

When they arrived Wednesday afternoon we went to the house, they had had excitement enough for the day. We took them for a walk, there is a good playground in our local park, and went for pizza at our pub. The kids do not get much chance to go to restaurants, so it was an adventure for them. When we finally got them to bed, they fell asleep immediately. My aunt went to bed soon as well, and Ben and I had some time together. He does a good hand job, I guess from his trucking days.

On Thursday we took the kids to Skansen, it is an open-air museum with rebuilt farm cottages etc. It was not too busy, but of course they loved the playground and the funfair. In the afternoon we went clothes shopping for the kids, my aunt was under instruction to get several items. Thanks to the internet my cousin-in-law had done some research and picked some items, we just checked if they fitted. We bought a few items in addition, and they needed shoes. We had everything couriered from the store to their home, my aunt will have her hands full on the journey anyway.

We had dinner at home, we just had some pasta, and salad for the adults. Ben offered to babysit, and I had a chance to spend some time with my aunt.

Friday we went on a boat ride to an island in Lake Malaren, they offer children's activities there, they had a storyteller. Even Ben was enthralled. He has nearly finished all of Astrid Lindgrens books. The evening we spent at home. Saturday was Walpurgisnight, we found an event nearby, we were able to travel there by bus. They had activities during the day, and the bonfire in the evening. We made them have a nap, actually, we all had one (Well, Ben and I used the time differently).

By now I was so horny all the time, I put a cb chastity cage on. Ben had to help, I haven't worn one in a while and I had to fight my erection. We had fun anyway.

Sunday morning the kids were up very early, and bless him, Ben got up to entertain them and keep them quiet. He took them for a walk, he said very early in the morning sometimes one can spot the dragon which lives in the lake, but one has to go to the little beach. They came back very disappointed, they did not see the dragon.

We spent the rest of Sunday together, released me from the cb, and the slave took very good care of me. I said to him, how you can take it. He said it is all mind over body. I remember it now, but it does take training.

He had enjoyed himself very much the last few days, he had never been to the places we had visited,

and he liked Walpurgisnight. Last year we did not take part in any Midsummer celebrations as I was working, I look forward to spending that day with him. My aunt was impressed how good his Swedish is.

Well, it is May already. Next month the slave has been here a year. What a year it has been.

Getting ready for a visit

Monday, 25^h April

Household cleaning day. The boy woke me up, with his routine of kneeling in the bedroom. We went to bed together last night, but he slipped out some time during the night. After having had a strenuous weekend, it was very nice to be so close and having had a good session yesterday.

My aunt and the kids will arrive Wednesday. The carpet will be laid tomorrow.

We will go to the gym later, as we won't be able to go Thursday and Friday. He also has a lesson. To be honest, I sometimes think what is he still learning? His Swedish is so good. They are preparing for an exam, which he will take on 23^rd June.

Tuesday, 26^th April

Gym later in the day is no good for he boy. He was hyper, I chained his arms and legs loosely together and attached them to a waist belt and a collar. I must admit, the sound made me horny, and we made out on the sofa.

Today we have crashed after meditation class. We did manage to christen the new carpet in the upstairs bedroom, without staining it.

Wednesday, 27^th April

The slave and I thought we might try to have a session before the family arrives, but we could not concentrate and gave up frustrated. We are going to lock the playroom, cellar door and the door to his cell. We are going to pretend the boy shares my bedroom and have moved some of his clothes into my room and his toiletries into the bathroom. There are some posts in the garden with a beam on top, I think it was originally a play swing, it has many other uses, by the addition of more hooks in the posts. We have found the swing in the garage and attached it.

We have been shopping to buy some child friendly food. Panic! Thank god they are leaving Sunday morning.

Ben needs some bondage

Sunday, 24^th April

Ben is out walking Django. We needed some time alone.

I suggested a scene yesterday afternoon, it was raining, we were both reading. I wanted to put him into the metal constraints system, for some reason my Master called it The Milkmaid, and have him in the living room. He was hesitant. He liked it when I had him in it before. He asked: and then?

I answered: nothing, I just like to see you in it. He answered, of course, if I really wanted it, he would do it, but he was not comfortable with the idea. It surprised me, he liked it before. He said he had a problem with “being on display”. That was Robert's thing. I am not sure if it was the memory of Robert, or the idea of being displayed that was playing on his mind, he excused himself and went to his cell. He has not been in one of those moods since Robert died. I left him alone for about 30 minutes, then I knocked and entered. He was lying on his cot, he had been crying. He said he did not know what it was, he suddenly felt weighed down. He started to cry again, I took him into my arms and rocked him. I think he finally cried for Robert. It took about 45 minutes for him to calm down, he developed hiccups again. We had a very quiet evening, he was not good company. He was so distant again. That distance was still there this morning. He noticed it as well, he said he wanted some time, I agreed it was a good idea. I suggested he take Django out. I thought the dog might get him out of his mood. When he got back he was brighter, but there was still this sadness back in is eyes. He made himself a drink and had a snack, we had planned to eat a late lunch, early dinner. I knew something was on his mind he did not dare to ask me. I confronted him about it and he asked to be put into bondage, very tight leather straps or something. I bound him to the chair, with the works. Blindfold, gag, big collar, white noise, lots of straps, tightened again. I secured a vibrator in his vagina, with a big dildo up his ass. The belt was still on. I slowly increased the vibrations. Because where his testes are, a vibrator up his vagina teases the sperm ducts. He was dry after 2 hours of play and it was becoming painful. I took the vibrator out and left him tied, while I started our meal. There was a camera on him, I kept check on him. He was testing his restraints, I like the sound the leather makes. I released him in time for dinner, but left the dildo in. He was moaning so much during dinner, we had to leave our plates and I fucked him very slowly. He had a dry orgasm.

Later in the evening he returned the favour. We are back to normal.

Musings about life?

Monday, 18^th April

My aunt wants to come to Stockholm with the kids for Walpurgis night. They boy has no idea what that is. I am looking forward to it, I always tried to take those days off, 1 – it gets crazy, 2^nd – I enjoy the atmosphere in town. It is the first national holiday after the winter. We are thinking what reasons to give to the kids why they cannot go into the bedroom wing. The house had an extension built, which has the playroom, my bedroom and bathroom, and the cell. We can close it off. The kids will be upstairs with their grandmother.

I have cut down what I post. I usually write, and then copy an edited version onto the blog. Most comments have been supportive.

The club's website is getting a lot of traffic and we have seen an increase in membership applications. The forums are having lively discussions. We have been approached by advertisers, but we want to keep it advertisement free. A member of club staff has taken on responsibility for the website, and our social media presence.

Tuesday, 19^th April

The boy had a packed day again today, he has been back at the Bhuddist Centre in the kitchen. I joined them for meditation class. I had a chance to speak to Sabine about the rug purchase. She told me all of them knew it would fit perfectly and they had encouraged the boy to get my opinion, but he wanted to surprise me. Maybe I was a bit strict, then sometimes it is good to put my foot down. At least I never use physical punishment. Ok, I used the whip on the boy last month, but I knew he wanted physical pain to release the pain he felt inside.

Wednesday, 20^th April

Today we went to Oestermalm to browse through some shops. He has been with Ingrid, but there is always something new to discover. We went to the market, we had lunch there. We bought some lamps! They will be delivered tomorrow. We walked along the old harbour in the city centre, and then through Gamla Stan. It was nice to enjoy the city, almost like a tourist. We ended up in a bar in Gamla Stan and happened to meet Sahid and Mats. They were celebrating, Sahid came out to his parents and they accept him! We have asked Mats to come to the house to discuss decorating.

Thursday, 21^st April

I went carpet shopping today, for the upstairs bedroom. I do not know what happened there, but I need it done before the kids and my aunt come. The boy noticed a mouldy smell when he rested in there some weeks ago. It has already been removed, there were some patches on the floor boards, they have been treated and the room has been aired. Silly me did not have any measurements. I phoned them trough later, Ben had a good laugh at me. He spent the evening attached to the post. It was supposed to be a punishment. They are getting very familiar with each other.

We are settling into the house

Friday, 15^th April

We went to the gym together, he had yoga, I went to the sauna, we had lunch, then he had a lesson. Then we went to the kitchen design place with Ingrid. While I waited I stopped at the gallery, the rug is perfect.

The slave had detailed measurements of the kitchen, where the sockets are at the moment and everything. Originally I did not want to change all the cupboards, but the salesman convinced us as they use solid wood, our MDF cupboards would not be able to carry the weight, and any additions would stand out. Everyone uses drawers now, and Ingrid said that she loved them, her friend had drawers and she found it so much easier and accessible. So we had to opt for a total new kitchen.

They will come to the house tomorrow with samples of the finishes, as the light will be different, and to take measurements. They gave us a rough idea of price, compared to Ikea it was a lot, but then we do get a good service here.

Has it been 4 weeks already since the last M/s night? Well it must be, as we're expected to attend tonight. I know the slave would rather tidy the office.

Saturday, 16^th April

I have sent the slave shopping, he has gone in the car. We decided ad hoc to throw a party. I have tidied the office, I am sure it could be better, but everything is on shelves and I know where it is.

We have invited the Germans, they will come with P/L. We have invited “normal” friends.

Lasse's GP thinks he might be suffering from SAD (seasonal affection disorder). That makes sense.

Sunday, 17^th April

We had a good party. The slave made some pizzas from scratch.

The Germans were made feel welcome, a few ex-colleagues were here, so they knew some people at least from sight. They like the flat, they do not use the cell, only make use of the shower sometimes. The slave looked relieved, it is still his home, his space. They expressed to me their wonder how we can live like that. The Germans have a reputation to be kinky and like discipline, it is quite wrong.

The kitchen people came just after the slave had returned from shopping. It was his first time driving since he passed the test, he was nervous at first, he told me, but then it was ok. He said, when he got into the car with all the shopping in the boot, he felt funny. He felt as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and although he had been to this hypermarket for the first time, he felt at home. He knew I was at home waiting for him, it made him feel secure. We were just expressing our gratitude to each other, when the door bell rang.

The guys were not trying to up sell, they are the carpenters who come to install it, they gave us valuable advice. In need to go in on Monday and order everything officially and pay a deposit.

We had a lovely breakfast this morning and then we had dog sitting duty. Stine and Torben went to a christening. I did some gardening, the boy helped. We invited S/T for coffee when they came back, but they were a bit subdued and wanted to go home, understandably.

I am planning an early night with some rope, I found a book and want to practise a certain design.

Life resumes after our trip to Kopenhagen

Friday, 8^th April

We are back to our routine and are getting used to have to travel longer. I suggested getting bikes to get to the train station, the boy does not want one, he has problems with a saddle. I did not consider that. I might get one.

This week we have been looking at kitchens, I initially thought about replacing the doors and the worktop only, but once one sees all these modern designs. My Master was certainly not a cook, so now we are a bit short on cupboard space. They boy fell in love with a fancy cooker with a gas ring for woks, and electric plates as well.

After lunch we are going to Kopenhagen. We decided against driving, our little car is not suitable. We are going by train. We will not take any gear, this will be a vanilla weekend. I insisted, if we' re doing vanilla, the belt, plugs and collar stay at home as well. I sneaked in a leather collar he can have in the hotel room. I am afraid I will not have much time for him Saturday and Sunday, we have extended until Wednesday.

Wednesday, 13^th April

We changed our plans and came back last night. We spent most of today involved with bondage. We had some food delivered to the house.

The conference was good, there were some very good speakers and I enjoyed talking shop.

The slave enjoyed himself too, he did the tourist stuff and bought some clothes! He missed me during the day, I made it up to him in the evening. As we had no gear, we made do, and adjusted our language. He was disappointed I broke our rule of no gear and first refused to wear the collar. But as a good slave he had to.

Monday and Tuesday we explored the city together, and at short notice changed our plan. I like having the freedom to do it, and am very fortunate to be able to afford it.

Thursday, 14^th April

I went to the gym and it was hard work. My attendance has been a bit sketchy lately. My membership comes to and end soon, I considered briefly finding somewhere closer to home, but we know the people here, which is very important. I definitely do not want to uproot the slave, he loves his yoga class.

I had a meeting with the accountant and Mr Allender, Seeing the money go out of my account and nothing coming in is suddenly very daunting. I will be glad of the rent.

The sums for the heating and windows made me swallow twice as well, but Mr Allender had prepared projections for the savings we will make by more efficient systems, it is so worth the investment. We are looking at July for the work to be done.

The extra events we are putting on at the club are making money, and in general our numbers over the winter were good. We were able to deduct our trip to clubs in Europe as business trips. They were!

We have had a some more details of premises presented to us, but nothing took our fancy.

The slave came back from an exhibition he attended with Ingrid and Sabine, it was Tibetan art. Amongst other exhibits there was a big rug, which was for sale. He has bought it. Ingrid came back to the house with him to make sure I did not go too mad. She has not been here since we moved in, she agreed it looks very shabby. The rug is to go into the living room, the one there at the moment looks soo awful, with the modern sofa. But we need something there in the colder months. I am surprised the slave had the confidence to say the rug would go here, with the sofa. Of course both women know the sofa and this space, maybe they were able to advise him. I sent the slave to his room, and chatted with Ingrid, He was awaiting his punishment. I do not want him to spend his money like this. He has offered to pay his share for the renovations, I declined. I told Ingrid about the kitchen appliance he fell in love with, she offered her advice. As I mentioned before, I admire her taste, and she has to be careful with her money, she would reign in our enthusiasm. We agreed on her consultants fee and we will go tomorrow so she can talk us out of the kitchen.

Once she had left, I carried out the punishment. I am in the process of setting up the office. I sat him on a chair in the corner and unpacked boxes, leaving stuff everywhere, making a big mess. I went to prepare myself some dinner, leaving him under strict instruction not to move. He was twitching.

I called him for dinner, he apologised. I explained I do not want him to spend his money like that. A purchase like that needs to be talked about! He spent the evening chained to the post again.