Musings and snow

Thursday, 17^th March

What makes me tick? Why did I put the slave into his cage yesterday? I do not know. He did not ask for it, verbally or non-verbally. We had lunch after his driving lesson, and we were both a bit at a loose end. He told me his driving teacher wants to set a date for the test, and they are planning for the week after Easter. Easter is the last weekend in March this year. So he could do with some time to study. The weather had turned, it was an icy wind from the east, weather to stay inside. I suggested I needed to clear the office out, and I'd like him to sit in the cage to do his studying. Done.

It just popped into my head, like most scenarios. Sometimes we are vanilla, sometimes we are both full on, sometimes I like him to be very submissive and I will enforce it. When I grew up, I certainly was not a top, and would never have thought I would be a Master one day. That just came through in my twenties. I am certainly glad that I was a slave, and most Masters I know and respect, have been submissive at some time. Masters who have always been a top can be a bit full on. My Master was a strong personality, but he knew when to stop. I sometimes wanted him to stop earlier, but he pushed me and I am glad about it now. It was good training. I think he saw a potential Master in me, and that is why he pushed me so hard.

Is it nature or nurture? I think it is both. Experiences in very early and later childhood definitely influence us, but the natural tendency has to be there. So what was my influence? I am not sure.

I certainly used to boss around my younger cousin when I lived at the farm. Losing a parent and my absentee father probably made me look for a father figure I found in my Master.

Anyway, enough of these musings. We have invited P/L for afternoon coffee, the boy is going to bring cakes when he comes home from his lesson. We want to break to them that we are moving to the house and are looking to sublet the flat.

When the boy came home it had just started snowing, and despite going up 4 floors of stairs, he was still covered in snowflakes, he was excited by the snow. I helped him get his layers off, and I suddenly had such a hard on. I fucked him there in the hallway. I think I could hear P/L get out of the lift, it is one of these old fashioned ones with metal grills one has to operate individually. They must have heard us, as they came 20 minutes after the appointed time.