Happy New Year?

Monday, 28^th December

I will miss that mutt when he goes, but is also a lot of work. I had yesterday off, and we made the most of the time, we went to the house. After taking the dog for a long walk we had a good time in the play room. At one time we were disturbed by Django barking. I checked what was going on, he was barking at the cellar door. Now it is getting creepy. We are meeting Ingrid and Sabine in town later, the 2 women have become friends.

Wednesday, 30^th December

My last day at work tomorrow. The slave is kind of looking forward to it, on the other hand he does not want me at home all day. I guess we both need to find another hobby. I feel the same, what will I do with all my time? I have volunteered, as usual, to do the night shift. We are always busy in A&E.

We took Django home earlier. It was difficult for the boy to say goodbye. He is trying to come up with the courage to ask me if we can have a dog. Sometimes I can read him like the headline on a red top paper. Maybe later in the summer, I first want to see how our live develops.

I am doing a late shift today, then I need to pre-sleep tomorrow afternoon. I have to start earlier than a normal night shift, it will be 14 hours. I will be sad not be able to say “happy new year” to the boy, considering what an exciting year it will be for us, but the time does not really matter. I know he will have something special planned for when I get home. He is allowed to go to the club if he fancies it.

Friday, 1^st January

Happy new year!

I had a very busy night, we had an emergency operation just before my shift was supposed to finish, so I did 3 hours overtime. Ben had come to the hospital to wait for me. It was nice to be able to walk home with him, I had to lean onto him I was so tired. When we got home he made me something to eat while I had a long, hot shower. After I had eaten I just crashed. He came to bed with me, it relaxed me, and we both fell asleep.

He did go to the club last night, he has never been one to go clubbing, it was more about having company. Of course he is quite well known there now.

He woke me up early afternoon. He made me something to eat and then we went for a stroll around the neighbourhood. The fresh air was nice. In the evening we just crashed on the sofa, I told him about the idiots I had seen on my last shift. The emergency operation we had to do was on a young man who had fallen off a balcony, drunk. He has amongst others broken ribs, a broken pelvis, most likely spinal injuries and head injuries. Doing the anaesthetic in a case like that is challenging enough, but after a 12 hour, relentless shift? To be honest, I will be surprised if he pulls through.

It was good to be able to unload to Ben. He was sitting opposite me on the sofa and massaging my feet, bliss. I rubbed my foot against his abdomen and he immediately shouted: Don't and ran off. I had forgotten about his stoma. There was some leakage, but not too bad. I apologised profusely.

His timetable today is a bit screwed up as he slept longer this morning.

We settled down on the sofa again and I asked him when he first realised he liked bondage. He told me his story how he first fell for Barbara, and was slowly introduced by her and Robert to it. Over time it became a “need”. He said he talked with Barbara about it a lot and reckons when other teenagers went through puberty, he did not. It was only when he started having sex aged 19 that certain hormones got released and synapses in his brain formed. He himself thinks he is on the autistic spectrum, with his need for order, his willingness, or desire, to submit and serve. I asked him if he would describe himself as gay, or he has called himself bisexual before. He answered he does not want to put a label on it, I love you, and you happen to be a man. I mulled this over and realised he had indirectly said “I love you” for the first time to me. I think he had noticed it, too, because he lent over me and said: Yes, I love you! and gave me a kiss.

Despite this we are sleeping in our own beds tonight.

Saturday, 2^nd January

We both got up at a “normal“ time today to get back into a rhythm.

The slave had to clean the apartment, it was booked and is booked again for the weekend. P/L are back from Malmo today. It takes a very long time to clean the apartment. We do not usually let it out back to back. I offered to help, but he said he has his system.

I got a phone call from Martin. He updated me on a successful New Years eve party, and then asked if Ben is around. That sounded ominous. He told me what had happened, I had a feeling something was wrong, the boy was too quiet about it. He was hassled by a guy who thinks of himself as a Master. Apparently he was a temporary member on his 3^rd visit, he first came on the December M/S

evening, then a few days before Christmas. Martin had en eye on him anyway, as some members had pointed him out to staff, he did not fit in. He made several attempts to speak to the slave, and once Martin overheard him at the bar talking to Ben. The guy told him off for coming on his own, and was fiddling with the slave's collar. The slave rebuffed him and Martin gave him a warning as well.

Later in the evening there suddenly was some trouble, the slave had the guy in a hold, he had remembered his self defence. The bouncers threw the guy out and of course he is barred. Martin took the slave into the office and he had one of his meltdowns. Martin forced a shot down him to calm him down. Apparently the guy had approached the slave, cornered him, called him by his internet name and tried to touch him between his legs. After he had calmed down and washed his face the slave stayed in a corner by the bar and Martin took him home once it quietened down.

I am very grateful for Martin's help and that he phoned me. I'm going to have to speak with the boy. I can understand that he did not tell me yesterday morning when he picked me up, and we spoke about it, but he could have told me in the evening.