Just read it - it is a long post though!

Friday, 12^th August

I am off to work soon, I thought I just write this down.

Last night Ben went to sleep in his room, but later turned up in my room and asked if he could sleep here. Of course he could. I was expecting him to sleep in his cage, but he put his mattress down next to me on the floor. When I woke up this morning I suddenly remembered I had changed shifts and we had the morning free. I crept to the bathroom, when I came back I noticed Ben was awake and lay quietly on his mattress. I lifted my blanket and told him to join me in bed. He was eager to do so. We both sleep naked these days. We were spooning and I was playing with his nipple rings, of course I got an erection. Ben “offered” to take care of me, he wanted intercourse. I made love to him, slowly, in his vagina. He did not have an orgasm, but it was nice for him, he asked me to leave my penis inside him. He said: Sometimes I understand how having a child, or the possibility of making a child by making love, brings a couple together. It was one of the most loving things I have ever heard. I was growing hard again, Ben encouraged me and this time I made love to him using his other orifice. We took our time and both came at the same time. I cannot say which way is better, it is different. We took a shower together and enjoyed our breakfast. It was almost as if that phone call had not happened. We finally decided on a schedule for our trip to Canada and now USA. The memorial service for Robert is on the 5^th November, which is a Saturday, that way people can travel. It is in Toronto. We plan to spend some time with Barbara and Erik afterwards. We want to go to Steelwerks Extreme in Montreal and have a new chastity device designed for Ben. They made his current one, and he is very happy with it, it is time for something new though. We had a brief look online for flights, but this getting quite complicated. We are considering trains or hiring a car. I have instructed Ben to go to a travel agent and get their help. We found a specialist New England and Canada travel agent in Stockholm on the Net, and Ben wants to ask Ingrid along to help him book it.

We have decided to fly in comfort, but do not want to pay silly money.

Monday, 15^th August

I have lots to report. Ben and Ingrid went to the travel agent Friday afternoon. I was worried to have to leave him alone, so I told Ben to ask Ingrid and maybe Sabine to stay with him. When I came home at nearly 11pm on Friday, Ingrid was asleep on our sofa. Sabine and Ben were sitting on the patio. They had a nearly empty bottle of wine with them. They seemed to be in a good mood, I was afraid I would find more empty bottles. I greeted Sabine and gave Ben a kiss, I could not taste much alcohol on him. I asked why Ingrid is asleep on our sofa? How much did she have to drink? They said she had most, but she was just tired, she is not drunk. Ben offered to get me a glass, and I fancied one after my shift. While he was inside getting a glass, I had the opportunity to ask Sabine how he had been. She said he was just fine, and no-one is drunk. Herself and Ben only had half a glass each. Ben came back out and told me they had waited for me as they had an idea how to mark his father's passing. They have built a boat out of a log and found a photo of his father on the web.

They had burnt it and the ashes are on the boat. Ben wanted to put it on the water, like they do in India or somewhere there, with a candle, to send it to the next world. I thought it was a nice idea.

We went to the jetty and Ben put the boat into the water. Sadly there was no wind and the boat was washed back to the shore. Suddenly Ben jumped in and swam with the boat out into the lake. He is a

very good swimmer, but it was dark and the water is cold. I did not know which feeling to let take control, concern or fury. I fetched him a towel and ran a hot bath. When he finally climbed back up, he seemed elated. I wrapped him into the towel, told him off and sent him to have a bath to warm up.

Ingrid had woken up and was surprised what was going on. She was sorry she had missed the launch. I offered them to stay, we have the spare room. Ingrid and Sabine decided they were happy to get home, Ingrid did not like to stay the night without toiletries and a change of clothes. We ordered them a taxi and they waited outside for it, so I could deal with Ben.

I put Ben into my bed, I put some restraints around his ankles and secured him to the bed. He was not happy, but I am in charge! Sometimes he behaves like a child, sometimes it is enduring, sometimes infuriating, like tonight. I had given him a lecture about how dangerous his actions were and all the reasons. He knows to say sorry when I am angry like this is pointless. I want him to think about it and then apologise. So he let me do what I had to do. He threw the blanket off overnight, as

he was too hot. In the morning, over breakfast, he apologised, he understood my reasons totally, he had not thought at all, acted on an impulse. I said I understood he had been under stress.

He had his chores to do, and I did some work in the office. I called Per, to see if Ben could stay with them. I had another late and night shift, and did not want him alone in the house. I told him what happened and I would like him to carry out punishment on my behalf. Then I phoned Master Sven, I

wanted his advice on something and invite him and his boy to come for drinks. I got a message they were at a rubber event. I phoned Ingrid to talk about yesterday. She assured me she had not been drunk, she had just been tired. Ben had been fine all day, they had had a good visit to the travel agent and had gotten good advise. She told me it was Ben who had remarked he wanted to do something to deal with his fathers death, and it was her who had the idea with the boat. She had found an article on his home towns newspaper about the accident, and there was a photo they printed off. She told me the article mentioned: He leaves a wife, 2 sons and daughters-in-law, and was pre-deceased by his daughter. She said Ben did not read the article. She wondered who gave the information to the paper, how come they said he had only 2 sons? We decided not to mention it to him.

Over lunch Ben told me what he had found out at the travel agent. Apparently Lufthansa offered the best service, they fly the connections we want. We have to travel to Frankfurt and change planes there, we can fly to Boston and return from Montreal. They have a business class, which offers flat beds. From Boston we can fly to Montreal, and from there take a train to Toronto. From Toronto we'll drive to South River, where Barbara and Erik live; and from there back to Montreal and back to Europe. Or we could take a train to Montreal. He had a list with departure times for the main flights, everything else we can book nearer the date. He said the agent was very helpful, even he complained about Amtrak, their website is not very well designed, unless one knows how to find the information.

I told him I had arranged for him to stay with Per and Lasse. He was hesitant, I guess he wanted to protest, he was fine to be on his own, but he knew it was arranged and he had to follow my orders. He packed some stuff together and we set off. I did not have much time to chat to Per. He assured me he would take care of Ben.

We had a quiet night and I managed to get 6 hours sleep. I had some breakfast in the canteen, and knocked on Per's door shortly before 9am, they were just having breakfast. Lasse had had a procedure the night before, with the help of my doctor friend, he is quite known in Stockholm. He was doing fine. It is one these fads in the kink world, something I do not support and do not want to promote. Per assured me Ben had been behaving himself and understood that he had carried out punishment on my behalf. They had borrowed the cage from the flat, and Ben and I took it back. I decided we might as well have a shower there, and Ben could clean the flat Monday. To be honest, I was lusting for him and did not fancy the ride home, trying to keep myself in check. I briefly considered staying longer at the flat, but we have everything at home anyway. When I opened the door, one of the Germans came past with some shopping, waiting for the lift. I greeted him and enquired how they are getting on. He replied politely, but short. I mentioned I had heard good things about his partner at the hospital. Again, a short, polite remark. The slave had stepped back into the flat, almost as if he was hiding. The German excused himself and got into the lift. I beckoned the slave to come, but he pulled me back, forcing me to close the door. He had an anxious look on his face. He said he was picking up such a dark field from that guy, he gave him the creeps. He wanted us to wait for the negative energy to dissolve before we enter the hallway. He said we should get that guy who got rid of the spirit at the house to cleanse the flat when they move out. It made me somewhat uncomfortable, Per had said as well they were creepy. While we waited for the bad spirit to dissolve, we were making out. In the train I suggested to the boy how we are going to spend the rest of the day. I said I wanted to keep him in metal all day. He liked it, he was hot for it.

It was a hot day, one could feel it even in the morning. We came home and I let the awning down and pulled the blinds down to keep the house cool. I told the boy to put his stuff away and meet me in the play room, naked. (That means of course with his belt on). Suddenly I had the idea to put my boots on, and I put a harness on, nothing else. The boy was already in the play room when I came in, a big smile appeared on his face when he saw me. I got the iron collar and wrist and ankle restraints and some chain. He was kneeling ready for him to receive them. I had to take his collar off to fit the big iron collar. Chains connect to the wrist cuffs. The ankle cuffs were chained together as well, so he still had enough movement. I instructed him to polish my boots, particularly at the top and inner thigh. I sat on a chair, with my legs stretched and apart. The slave knelt between my legs, rubbing polish into my boots, and indirectly massaging my inner thighs. They are an erotic zone for me, and I was getting hard. The boy was turned on as well and I finally gave him permission to stop polishing and use his tongue on my genitals. He held onto my booted legs, the touch and smell of leather is so arousing. He licked my perineum and was going towards my hole, but I stopped him, I was not clean. I promised him we can do that later in the day, suddenly I wanted him so badly inside me. He played with my balls, taking them into his mouth and sucking them. I had to hold on to the chair tightly, the sound of his chains, him rubbing my legs, his mouth around my balls, it was all too much. I erupted for the 2^nd time that day, it was all over my stomach and chest. The slave offered to clean me up, but I know he does not really like it, so he used wipes. Strange, when I come in his mouth, he takes it, but he does not like to lick it off any other surface. I suggested we had some lunch, tortellini with pesto sauce. While I heated it up he laid the table, still in his chains, me in boots and harness. We are rarely naked like this in the house, doing “normal” stuff. He had spent most of yesterday undressed, with Per and Lasse it was the rule. We had a quiet lunch, I considered asking about the procedure, but it was an unsuitable topic whilst eating. We had some fruit salad, leftover from Friday, which we had with some cream, and peppermint tea.

After we had cleared up I ordered the slave to get his mattress and put it by the post. I got a dildo and a bigger butt plug for the slave, and after I had secured his chains to the post I put the dildo and plug in. It is slightly uncomfortable for him, but also arousing. I laid down on the sofa and we both had a snooze. I woke up from the rattle of the chains, the boy was trying to undo the hooks. I seldom use padlocks, it is important to me that he can get out by himself if he needs to. He noticed he had woken me and pleaded to be released, he needed the bathroom. I released him and he went to empty his bladder.

When he came back I ordered him to put his mattress away and meet me back in the play room. I had taken my boots off after lunch and put some shorts on. I took his chains off and offered him the choice between a fiddle and what I call an A-frame. He chose the A-frame. We went into the living room with it and I guided him to sit next to the Corbusier chaise lounge. I put him into the frame and put some music on. I like to really listen to it. It was 48minutes long, could he last that long? He answered yes. He sat with his back to me, I sometimes played with his hair and stroked his back. I could notice how he moved his muscles as much as he could, and had to concentrate on relaxing. He was breathing deeply and using meditation techniques to cope. He had spent a long time in a cage yesterday, sitting in a similar position, it was hard on his back.

Just before the music finished I had to jump up and go to the toilet. I had taken a laxative after lunch.

I released the boy and told him to stretch, while I cleaned myself out properly. Nothing is as off putting as helping your partner doing an enema. That is why living with Ben is so great, if you love giving anal sex, he is the perfect partner. He put the frame away and came into my bedroom, where I was just clearing up. He kneeled on the floor ready for instructions. I came over to him and asked him if he would fuck me. I said you can do what you want. I helped him get his belt off and the other things. He was glad of being rid of it. He had enjoyed it, but it was time. He took my blankets of the bed and laid me down. He brought the boots and helped me put them on again. We were kissing and fondling each other, he was playing with my nipples, running his tongue over my torso, and stroking his hands over my booted legs. At one point he fetched a neck to wrist restraint and put me into it. He was in charge of this session, I had promised him that. I found it very exciting, and so did Ben, he was fully erect. He used his fingers to put lube into my hole, and played with me for while, like he had learned. He had put a pillow under my pelvis to have it more in the air. Having my arms restricted in this position gave him more freedom with the rest of my body. He finally entered me, very carefully and slowly, letting my sphincter adjust. He fucked me gently, he put my legs around him, I crossed my ankles behind his back, he was holding them up. As he has no balls, he can penetrate me deeper, and we do not get that smacking of skin together. As we got more into it, he put my legs over his shoulders, raised my hips up. I often prefer to fuck anal with the boy on his stomach, as I can penetrate him better, but this angle was working well. We came at the same time, he shot several loads into me. It was AMAZING.

I asked him to put a plug into me, I wanted to keep his cum inside me. He fetched one from the play room and put it in, but my ass was not used to having so much movement that way and was not having it. Sadly I had to go to the toilet and release.

When I came back the slave was lying on my bed, in a foetal position. He looked glowing, but his body was tired. I told him I loved the boots, but I want to keep them nice, so I took them off and got dressed. I sent the boy to get dressed as well. He brought his collar and I put it back on him. We had something to eat, he had a shake as well.

By now it had cooled down and we decided to go for a walk. We talked about the procedure Lasse had put himself through. They had asked Ben to film it. We agreed it was something we would never consider and do not find attractive. When we came back it was time for Ben to do his procedure, I watered some plants. It was nice to do normal stuff again.

Master Sven called me in the evening and we talked about his weekend. We arranged a date for him and his boy to come for a visit. We spent the evening chilling and reading, and went to bed early.

Today I went to the gym while the boy cleaned the apartment, or only the bathroom. He checked in on Lasse, he has recovered from his procedure and is enjoying the new look. He went to the Barber, we have kept his hair very short this summer.

We went to the travel agent together and booked our flights. We still have not decided all the details, we need to confirm some appointments. We have booked a hotel in Boston, and one in Montreal for the evening before the flight. We have chosen hotels for their location, nothing fancy.

This afternoon Ben is doing his chores here at the house. It has cooled down today, which is welcome. I read the article about his fathers death. It was straight to the point, stating facts, no local sob story. Maybe as Ben has not been seen or heard for 10 years, and no-one knows where he is, they pretended he did never exist. It must have been hard for Ruth, though.

I have sent a message to Father Morris, outlining our trip and suggesting a date to meet. It is up to Ruth where she wants to meet. Anyer, Ben's home town, is easily reached by train from Boston, so we could meet either place. I would like to see where he grew up. I contacted my father and told him the dates we will be there.

I have contacted Steelwerks to arrange a date to discuss the design, and if we need 2 meetings some days apart.

Mr Allender contacted me, he needs some documents relating to the house. When I moved in, I put a lot of the paperwork into the attic. My Master was meticulous with filing, it should be easy to find.

I am back to work tomorrow with early shifts.