An intense day

Wednesday, 9^th November

Last night when Ben and I went to bed, he offered we could get some gear and I could do what I wanted, as a thank you for organising his mother's visit. I thought we should put that on hold, his mother was next door. I did gag him and we had sex.

Ben was up early, Erik and him made breakfast. Barbara was suffering from morning sickness and stayed in bed.

Ruth was ready to get more details about Ben's life with Robert. I knew from the conversation she had with Ben in Anyers, it was important to her to find out more about those years. That's why I had organised her visit. Erik and I went shopping, I was going to cook and wanted to get the ingredients.

Ben showed her the basement, he told me later Ruth was shocked by what she saw.

Barbara got up for lunch, and after wards we all sat down to watch some home movies. I enjoyed seeing them, it gave me an insight into a live I wanted to learn more about. Robert was behind the camera most of the time, I would have liked to see more of him. Ben and Ruth were sitting together, and Erik and Barbara, I felt a little left out again.

I went out onto the porch. After a short while Ben noticed I had left and he came out. We held each other. That was all we needed. We are sure of each other.

When we came back in, a film started showing Ben's chastity belt, they had just purchased it. Ben rushed to the computer to switch it off, but his mother wanted to see it. He had the apradavya then.

Ruth again was shocked, it must have been very painful? Ben explained about his piercings and what he had now. She asked after the device, he explained he is still wearing it and that we are actually getting a new model and some modifications. He said as he does not have any balls, he prefers wearing a device, it stops his penis from swinging around, as male underwear does not fit very well. As a mother one really does not want to hear about that, I thought, but she seemed quite interested. Ben looked for a certain file on the computer and showed us some footage that was taken straight after his operation, and a few days later, when it had healed better. Goodness, he was so young then, only 21. Ruth asked a few questions about the procedure, and Barbara explained. I expected Ben would offer to show his mother the real thing, and put my hand over his mouth to stop him.

Ruth requested to speak to Barbara and me in private, Ben and Erik took off with Lana. Ruth asked Barbara a lot of questions, she was concerned Ben had been “pressed” into this life. Barbara was very good at explaining how Ben spent those 9 years with them, how it all came about, that Ben was never forced into anything. I was able to support her with my experiences of Ben's Aspergers, how he needs routine, reassurance and a guiding hand. Barbara recounted how Ben was one day alone at the house, and Erik found him polishing an ornament vigorously. He tried to stop him, but in the end Erik had to take drastic action to get Ben out of his fixation.

Barbara got quite annoyed with Ruth's probing questions, she said: You knew a child in a teenager's body, Ben developed when he came here, and with our support he grew up and came to terms with his body. Do not come here after 10 years and tell me I screwed up your son! We encouraged him, he did his degree, if he had wanted to leave, he would have been free to go at any time.

Ruth accepted that. She asked Barbara what she had asked me, if Ben had gotten to hospital earlier, would the outcome have been different? Barbara had to consider her answer, she said it was difficult to say. They had consulted 2 specialists in Canada about the reversal, both concluded it was the botched up surgery that prevented a reversal. Apparently the removed intestine, for some reason, was not pathologically examined, which would have been the normal procedure. They had to rely on the judgement of the doctor in theatre what he had been presented with, every body reacts different to infection. She could not put Ruth's mind to rest in that matter. She assured her that with the right diet and care, Ben can live a normal, long life.

The phone rang, it was Erik, were they allowed to come back?

By now it was time for me to prepare dinner.

At dinner Ruth felt uncomfortable that Ben was not eating much. Everyone was eating heartily, while he only had some vegetables and his shake, which of course he finished before us, and just sat there while we still ate. We are all used to this, so were a bit perplexed by her. I guess that's what happens when you do not see your son for 10 years.

The travel and excitement must have caught up with Ruth, she went to bed early.