Ben in hospital

Friday, 23^rd October

He has got an infection in his stoma. We went to see his doctor, and he confirmed what we already knew. He needs treatment in hospital, and I asked that he goes to another hospital, not the clinic where I work. Dr Svensson thought I would want him there, but I reminded him how much gossip there will be. The boy will not be able to hide his vagina and missing testicles, and soon everyone will know that I am living with a freak. I did not use that word in front of the boy, but that is what they will say. So we got him in at Karolinska, at least I know the specialist there, he is one of the best. They need to take a sample from inside his gut and let the bacteria grow to determine what antibiotics to give him. He will need an IV and intravenous antibiotics. He should be back home for his birthday.

Saturday, 24^th October

Life with Ben has been a rollercoaster, we have packed a lot into nearly 5 months.

Dr Fahji, the colon surgeon, took one look at Ben's stoma and decided it was too late for antibiotics. The infection was too bad. Dr Fahji was surprised that Ben has never had any more surgery in all these years. He did take some swabs anyway, so they could find out the bacteria. Luckily Ben knows how to deal with pain. They prepared him for surgery. I was able to go with him to pre-op, and

Dr Stuve was the anaesthetist, he is a creep, always making lewd remarks, even to me, about Ben.

We had the hassle about his collar again.

At some point I went outside to make a phone call to my boss, asking for some unpaid leave. A nurse came out, on the phone, and I overheard her talking to someone about Ben. Apparently a member of staff had taken a photo of Ben's genitalia. I took the phone out of her hand and told the person on the other side to keep it strictly confidential. Then I walked the nurse to find a supervisor. We bumped into Mr Fahji and I told him what had happened. He got everything in motion, he called security and HR. The nurse told us it was Dr Stuve who took the photo on his phone. Dr Stuve just came out of the OP, and Dr Fahji stopped him. Well, it all kicked off, luckily security had already arrived, they had to hold me back, or I would have punched him.

The nurse and Dr Stuve were escorted to separate rooms, I was interviewed by HR. Then they called that Ben was coming round, so I went to see him. He was of course groggy but doing ok. I had to get my act together so hard.

They called me later, they wanted me to confirm that the image on the phone was of Ben. I was assured it had not been forwarded, and the hospital IT geeks had confirmed that a photo on a mobile phone, once deleted, can only be recovered with specialist software. They deleted it in front of me.

I went to see Ben once he was back on the ward, he was quite awake. The lady from HR called me out of the room, and I pretended it was another problem with the insurance.

She gave me a summary of their enquiries so far. Apparently the nurse had called her sister, also a nurse, to ask how to best lodge a complaint against Dr Stuve. Her conduct was still not acceptable, she should have acted immediately. Both are suspended, and there will be a formal disciplinary hearing on Monday, where I have to give witness. Mrs Moers from HR hinted to me that Dr Stuve will be instantly dismissed., his case referred to the professional association. She, privately, suggested the hospital would not refer it to the police and it was up to me and Ben if we wanted to press charges against Dr Stuve. I must say, Mrs Moers was brilliant. She and her colleague stayed several hours after their shift ended, on a Friday evening.

When I got back into the room Ben was asleep. I took the bus home .People acted so normal, preparing to go out on a Friday evening, Ben and I were supposed to go out. One stupid, little decision can change your life so easily!

The flat was so empty without my boy.

Saturday morning Per called me, he knew something was wrong. It was good to be able to talk to him, he used to be a critical care nurse, so he understands.

I went to the hospital, outside Ben's room I bumped into Dr Fahji, who had come to check on him. We talked about the other issue, and I told him how impressed I was how efficiently it had been handled. Ben looked quite perky, Dr Fahji was happy with the progress. They did key hole surgery, and he said while he was in there, he took the opportunity to have a good look around, which is quite normal to do. He was able to see the testes and they look healthy. He could see where the surgeon had messed up Ben's colon, he said he has never seen such a bad job. Dr Fahji said he hoped Ben sued the surgeon, and Ben said they did, and he got 1.2 Mill $ sitting in a trust fund in the USA. I did not know that.

Ben is on general antibiotics, as they removed the infected parts, they did not need specialist ones. They are still waiting to hear what bacterium it was, it is important to find out how he got infected.

After Dr Fahji had gone I asked Ben about the trust fund. He was surprised I did not know about it, Barbara surely would have told me and given me the paperwork. I found it when I came home this afternoon. It is all held with an insurance company, and every 3 months they used to send receipts for his medical supplies, shakes and other expenses to the insurance, who would reimburse them out of the fund. Good, so I can bill them instead of the private insurance I set up.

I packed some more things to take to the hospital and went back for the afternoon. Ben was allowed a drink, and he got out of bed. All the nursing staff seem to have taken to him. He manages to communicate very well. He handles everything very well, he asked Dr Fahji important questions about the OP and how treatment would progress. When it comes to his body he is very clued up and confident.

I had to tell him what happened with the photo. He was not bothered, and more upset with me that I was so angry. He said he is used to it, it is normal to him, he just explains to people he was born that way and is quite happy to show them. He has had 8 years of it, so he is used to dealing with it. He reminded me he used to make money out of his “special” sex, and that is how we met. He got me there, I was slightly embarrassed. I said that is not the issue, a person broke the law, abused our trust.

I reported to him what the hospital had done and that Dr Stuve would most likely be barred from practising medicine in Sweden. It was up to us if we wanted to involve the police. Ben said, do we not have enough on our plates already? He was happy how the hospital is handling it and the matter is over. I am so proud of him and ashamed how little I give him credit. I always think I need to protect him, he is much stronger than he comes across. Somewhere I once read something like: to be a good slave you have to be very strong in mind, stronger than your Master. Well, my slave seems to be made of steel.

Tonight I am expecting a friend of MY Master, he is going to bring his slave and probably break me.

Sunday, 25^th October

I slept long, but had to get up as I could no longer find a comfortable position. I had a long, hot shower. I am very grateful to Master Sven and his slave. They had invited me to their place, but I am glad I insisted on here. It brought back happy memories and I was a bit in control.

I met for lunch with some friends, they were very supportive. I found it quite nice to socialise without the slave, how bad am I? Then I miss him terribly.

When I went to see him, he knew immediately what I had been up to the previous night. How can he be so perceptive? His recovery is going well. He had a fever last night, and was still not fever free today. That is not good. He manages the pain very well.

When I left he said he is worried about me, and he is glad I have taken time off work. This so typical of him, always putting others first.

Monday, 26^th October

This morning I went to see my bosses to discuss my time off. Of course it is never good to have to take time off at short notice, but they understand. I mentioned I want to reduce my hours anyway, or have a more regular shift pattern. They said they will look into it.

It is good to know the money is there for the boys treatments. I e-mailed Barbara, outlined Ben's illness and treatment. I asked her to skype me later tonight, I have some questions how to claim the money. It sounds as if I am after the money, which I am not, but we might as well use it. The insurance company is earning the interest on it, not Ben.

The disciplinary hearings were in the afternoon, I hung around the hospital all day. The boy had many visitors, his fever had subsided, but in the evening it was up again, hopefully only because he was so tired. If he still has a raised temperature tomorrow, it is a cause for concern.

We had the results from the lab, it was MRSI. Not good. He could have picked that up anywhere. His cold virus must have contributed to him developing such a bad infection. They are pumping him full of antibiotics. There is no way he will be home for his birthday.

Most of the time he washes his colon out once a day to eliminate the waste. It is quite a long procedure, but that way his body body gets into a system. This means he needs to eat at regular times. As his colon will be sensitive after the operation, he has to us bags for some weeks. He feels more self conscious with them, but how I know him, he will be able to handle it.

As expected Dr Stuve was instantly dismissed. The nurse had a warning and a weeks suspension without pay. We will be getting an official apology.

I have never in my life dealt with so many authorities as I have in the last 5 months! I hope our live settles down sometime soon!